Arsenal look to bounce back after bad syrup and Bullard magic

Premier League / Frank Gregan / 29 August 2008 / Leave a Comment

Among the pink-shirted, toupeed freaks of an Arsenal ex-pat community, Frank Gregan marvels at the precision passing of one of the Premier League's most underrated midfielders.

I was in Spain last weekend and was gutted to find that my TV signal has been cut off by the Spanish authorities over a dispute about broadcasting rights. Hundreds of thousands of expats are walking the Costas in a state of bewilderment wondering how they will survive without Sky Sports.

I had an evening flight home on Saturday and just had time to catch the Fulham versus Arsenal game in a sports bar that was featuring a re-broadcast that looked like it was coming via Kuwait and Mars. The place was packed with Arsenal fans and one lone Fulham supporter who was wasted before kick off. There were all kinds of Arsenal kits on display - home, away, retro and the guy to my right had a bright pink golf shirt with an Arsenal badge and logo.

It may well have been his lucky white top that his missus had washed with her red knickers but this thing couldn't be fobbed off as salmon or cerise, it was full on Danny La Rue pink. To my left was a guy in an Arsenal away kit with the worst wig I have ever seen and a bad case of halitocious. Still, I had a great view of the plasma screen and as an ex-employee of the Gunners I was really looking forward to the game.

Things didn't go the way the Arsenal faithful would have liked and the game was a bore. The one moment of magic was the delivery from Jimmy Bullard after having shifted the angle from a corner he whipped in a ball that was an absolute peach from which Fulham took the lead.

You hear it in pubs every weekend when a corner goes wrong: "60 grand a week and he can't miss the first defender!" The reason is it is such a small target, a window about nine inches in size above the jumping first defender and the ball has to be whipped in flat and with pace. Anybody can hang a Hail Mary beyond the far post and hope for a break but the ball that Bullard delivered just about guaranteed a goal.

I found myself clapping in the deathly silence that followed the goal. Bad syrup man took a pace away from me to send the message that I definitely wasn't with him and Pink Shirt gave me a look of absolute hate. A pink shirt and aggression, come on, get real! It's about as compatible as beetroot and custard.

The pressure was taken off me by the lone drunken Fulham fan who realised they had scored five seconds after the goal and embarked on a one man cider induced conga. None of the Arsenal fans joined in his singing; perhaps they didn't know the words to "let's all have a disco!"

At half time the Gooners were getting restless. One screamed at the TV, "we haven't had a shot all half!" Welcome to the world of a West Ham fan, I thought. Another shouted "We haven't strung five passes together in 45 minutes!" I was going to point out that Wigan haven't strung five passes together since they joined the Premier League but I kept my counsel.

Arsenal bounced back with a solid performance and a free scoring win against FC Twente. Newcastle travel to the Emirates on Saturday and if the Gunners put in a performance like they did last week then a shock might just be possible. Keegan's side will hopefully provide a sterner test than the Dutch. A small wager at odds of [9.4] could bear fruit and it certainly looks better value than the [1.51] available on Wenger's men.

The second-half last week at the Cottage was dire and I found myself looking forward to the tedium of the airport and a budget flight home sitting in the row in front of a screaming baby with colic! Bad syrup man must have mistaken my glazed over look of boredom for confusion. "I can see you don't know much about football," he sneered. He said it with such contempt I very nearly rose to the bait but a reality check saved me. "No," I sighed, "I don't know much about football, I'm a Newcastle fan."