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Joe Kinnear: From Chubby Brown to tactical genius

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Volleys of expletives, negligent press officers, suicidal tackles and a stirring comeback - Frank Gregan discusses the highs and lows of a week in the life of Newcastle United.

There was a scare for Newcastle players last week when they turned up for training and thought they were going to subjected to the Multi Stage Fitness Test otherwise known as the 'Bleep Test.' Fortunately for the players the bleeps were not coming from the gymnasium but from the press conference that their new caretaker manager was hosting!

The transcript and audio from Joe Kinnear's first official press conference is in the public domain courtesy of a number of national dailies and it carries an 18 rating. Men are men, there is industrial language in every occupation and football managers and journalists are as adept at turning the air blue as dockers or builders.

The difference in this situation is that it was not a private conversation; Joe Kinnear had not pulled the writers who had offended him to one side. It was the beginning of a press conference!

The only mitigating factor is that he believed that he was off the record. There is a critical part during the audio in which the Newcastle press officer states: "This has all been completely and totally off the record, what happens in here is not being relayed outside, right?" A journalist is clearly heard to reply, "of course," and that should have been the end of the matter.

Another journalist who had obviously taken exception to Kinnear's attitude then decides to chance his arm and ask: "Well, is that what Joe thinks?" That is where the press officer should have stepped in and said something along the lines of: "That is what Joe thinks, this has been a clear the air meeting between two sets of professionals, we all knew this conversation was off the record."

But he didn't. He allowed Kinnear to take the question and the good name of the club was once again dragged through the mud as Kinnear answered with a childish: "print what you like." The press officer could still have salvaged the situation, it is his area of expertise and he could have diffused it, instead he did nothing and the footballing world all had another good long laugh at Newcastle United.

The fact of the matter is, off the record Joe Kinnear speaks for himself and if he wants to express his displeasure at individual members of the written press whilst doing a Chubby Brown impersonation, so be it. There are those who would say fair play to him for fronting up and giving those who had offended him a piece of his mind.

However, on the record, he is the manager of Newcastle United and everything he says represents not only his personal viewpoint but that of the football club.

I sat with my head in my hands on Sunday afternoon at 4.40 pm after a suicidal challenge by Nicky Butt and a first Everton goal for Marouane Fellaini had put the blues two up. It was one of those 'things can only get better' moments for every Newcastle fan and thanks to my Betfair telephone account I was able to back Newcastle at [80.0] and lay Everton at [1.06], much to the amusement of my friends. It turned out to be a very good day for us Geordies and if it hadn't been for the goal-line heroics of Leighton Baines it would have been scrumptious!

The Newcastle performance from the 40th minute onwards was much, much better than anything seen since Keegan's departure. Amazingly, Kinnear is now second favourite at [9.0] to get the job on a full-time basis. Ah, the wonder of football, that's some transformation, Chubby Brown to tactical genius in less than a week!