Going, going, gone! All Premiership players for sale...

Pacman to the point / Jamie "The Pacman" Pacheco / 26 February 2008 / Leave a Comment

With the Indian Premier League of cricket auctioning off the world's best players, Jamie "The Pacman" Pacheco wonders what would happen if the same was done with Premiership players

The Indian Premier League's auction the other day was beautifully refreshing in that it openly and shamelessly demonstrated to us what we all already knew: that players in team sports are somewhere between being mercenary-like hired guns and cattle sold to the highest bidder. This way of doing things is by no means novel. Our friends on the other side of the pond have been doing a similar thing for years with their draft system whereby teams in the NFL and NBA (amongst others) get to choose who they want from the top College players graduating that year. It's a little different in that there are rules regarding who gets to pick first and you don't actually bid in terms of salaries as such, but the concept is a similar one.

It's a shame that Betfair didn't run a market on who would go for the most money as I would have been interested to see how many people would have picked Mahendra Singh Dhoni as the most expensive player. In hindsight you can argue that he captained India to the inaugural Twenty20 World Cup, is a fine wicket-keeper and an explosive batsmen capable of scoring very quickly - an essential element of that form of cricket.

There is however, also the small matter of him being India's most popular and therefore marketable player alongside Tendulkar (who was an Iconic player and therefore not part of the auction - read the following article for a fuller explanation of how the IPL works http://betting.betfair.com/cricket/indian-premier-league/the-indian-premier-league-is-here-but-who-will-win-260208.html.)

And it appears that in modern sport, it is as much about putting bums on seats, keeping sponsors happy and selling replica shirts as it is about performances on the pitch, though the two very often go hand-in-hand. These last three reasons must have weighed very heavily into the equation because surely noone is going to tell me that Dhoni is worth more than the likes of Ponting, Gilchrist, Muralitharan or Sangakkara when it comes to overall value to the team on the pitch.

All this got me thinking about an imaginary scenario whereby every player currently playing in the Premiership was up for grabs with 20 different franchises bidding for their services. Rather like with the IPL auction, performances on the pitch, value to the team, injury-proneness and age would be amongst the most important factors but their marketability in terms of selling replica shirts, Media interest in them as well as money generated from future transfers would be equally important considerations. This is what I came up with...

In fifth place: Fernando Torres. Still only 23 but it seems like he's been around forever, scoring goals for club and country all through his teens and already capped 45 times for his country. He creates and scores goals, handles the big occasions well and has the looks of a Bondi Beach surfer which would keep the bean counters happy. Were it not for the iconic Steven Gerrard, he'd have a case for being skipper at Liverpool, having captained Atletico Madrid whilst still struggling to get served in some of Madrid's watering holes. Box office stuff.

Fourth: Cesc Fabregas. Still only 20 but possesses the footballing maturity of one far beyond his years. He's the guy who's got it all: strength, tackling, passing, composure, stamina and much-improved finishing. There might be worries about him playing too much football too soon and suffering burnout somewhere in his mid-to-late twenties but for the time being he's a player any club would be happy to build their team around.

If Mike Hussey is Mr Cricket, then Steven Gerrard is Mr Football, number three on my list. In his younger days he played for Liverpool's first team in every single position on the pitch bar goalkeeper and similar to the late Duncan Edwards, excelled in most. Unlucky to miss out on the England captaincy under McClaren, he may well get the job on a permanent basis this time around. Saves his best club performances for the biggest club stage of them all on big Champions League nights but hasn't quite performed to the same level for England. At 27 perhaps he doesn't have age on his side but he still sells plenty of shirts and is probably still the player most English schoolkids kicking a football in the playground would most like to be.

Number two: Wayne Rooney. Sex appeal is not his forte but taking a game by the horns certainly is. In a recent TV programme researchers found that if there was such a thing as a perfect footballer from an anatomical perspective, then Rooney was he. Deceptively quick, built like a boxer yet freakishly agile. Not quite the marketer's dream but a player any football fan would pay to watch.

Number one: who else? Still only 23, Cristiano Ronaldo has achieved more than most players do in a lifetime. European Championship final and World Cup semi-final appearances, a Premiership title, a goal in an FA Cup final, PFA Player's player of the year, PFA fan's Player of the year, Portuguese player of the year etc etc. He's currently the Premiership topscorer with 17 goals (and 16 assists) in 23 Premiership appearances and tied for second in the Champions League topscorer chart with five. An indiscretion earlier on in the season against Portsmouth that cost him a three-match ban was a rare case of indiscipline and he never seems to get injured. Pretty much every girl in the country would want to date him, most blokes would want to be him and he could endorse virtually any product you'd want.

Do you agree? What would your Top 5 be?