VC Chase Preview: Clippity Clop Idol, coming soon to a course near you

Timeform Debate / Jamie Lynch / 21 January 2012 / Leave a Comment

Racing believer Lord Lloyd Webber.

"Is nothing sacred? Is nothing impenetrable from reality/talent shows? It will be racing next."

Is there room for another reality show? Timeform's Chief Correspondent Jamie Lynch says yes as he takes a look at the big race of the weekend...

It was inevitable it would come to this. In a seismic cultural medley of old meets new, of good meets evil, of virtue meets vice, of history meets hysteria, it was announced this week that there's going to be a reality show to find Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.

The vehicle is Superstar, powered by Andrew Lloyd Webber, who wants the public to choose the lead role for the latest resurrection of his musical. The BBC didn't want to touch it for fear of the God squad and possibly God himself, but ITV have stepped in, presumably to use it as the centrepiece for their new weekly Christian night, alongside You've Been Ordained, I'm Celibate! Get Me Out Of Here, Beadle's Devout, and - brace yourself - What Not To Yaweah with Trinity and Hosanna.

Is nothing sacred? Is nothing impenetrable from reality/talent shows? It will be racing next. Results will be determined not by actual races, but by viewer votes and a specialist panel - probably comprising Brough Scott, Harry Herbert and Alesha Dixon - who'll whittle a field down to two before the lines are opened to the masses for the deciding adjudication. Imagine the tension. Imagine the corruption.

If I was a guest judge, because the 26,684 people in racing more qualified and worthy than me were unavailable, this is what I'd say to each of the hopeful horses as they're presented in front of the panel for the VC Chase:

AL FEROF (Timeform weight-adjusted rating of 169p) I liked your first chasing audition better than your second, but you've got a big future. I'll be honest with you Al, I'm a bit worried that this competition might be a year too soon for you. You're a novice, a baby, and I don't like your odds.

FINIAN'S RAINBOW (176p) It took a while for you to win me round, but, since the Arkle, I'm a huge fan. Most other performers would have given up after fluffing their lines as badly as you did four out at Kempton, but to turn it around by the end was the stuff of standing ovations and prospective champions. Fin, I'll be disappointed if you don't win this competition.

FORPADYDEPLASTERER (168) It's nice to see you again, but you've had your time. In fact, Paddy, I simply don't believe you're as young as you claim to be; only 10, the same age as Gauvain! I'm not buying it.

GAUVAIN (173+) There's been a bit of a change in you since you were here last year, hasn't there. You've always had the ability, and now you're holding it together better, more of a pro. You're problem Gav is that you're just not sexy enough; Al and Fin are the ones with the sexy profiles. If you were to win, it wouldn't be good for this competition.

I'M SO LUCKY (154+) I don't know what you're doing here.

OISEAU DE NUIT (166) You're better than I thought you were, but this is too much for you.

SOMERSBY (178) We've got a bit of history, me and you, which goes that I talk you up and you let me down. A bit of me still believes, but this isn't your stage, two miles. I think you were flattered to get so far in this competition last year when Master Minded flagged at the end.

WISHFULL THINKING (167+) No. You've lost something, and Kempton wasn't the resurgence it might have looked - the way I see it, you were just in front of Oiseau de Nuit rather than just behind the fence-ploughed Finian's Rainbow.

My casting vote goes to Finian's Rainbow, who has...what shall we call it...the X-Factor.

In many respects, racing already is an interactive reality talent show. The oldest and the best one. The difference between racing and X-Factor Idol Superstar is you. In racing, you control the interaction, you spot the talent, you make the judgement, and that judgement can make a real difference to you. You keep finding winners, and leave it to Lloyd Webber to find Jesus Christ.

...................
Last Saturday Timeform's TV Focus napped Lanzarote winner Swincombe Flame and advised Cruchain (won at Betfair SP of [24.67]). Click HERE to find out more.