Rather than go for a crowd favourite such as ground descriptions, bookies reps or Ffos Las, if there was ever a Racing Room 101 one of my nominations would be Galician.
She has done me no financial wrong, nor has she brought me any direct embarrassment, at least not in the way she once did to Chantal Sutherland at the Shergar Cup, and yet I dislike her. Really dislike her.
Trying to rationalise it, I think it must be a Timeform thing in that we, wearing thick glasses and lab coats, deal in a world of order and straight lines, where Galician brings chaos and zig-zags. And she's incessant, week in week out, up one week and down the next, still see-sawing into the all-weather season like a bothersome yo-yo.
So there is at least some logic behind my Galician aversion, and, apparently, my distate of the brussels sprout - ambuscading in a fridge near you right now - isn't irrational either, because the good people at the L'Oréal Research Centre have diverted their resources from dull, lifeless hair to dull, lifeless vegetables and discovered that 70% of us carry an anti-sprout gene that sends a bitter message to the brain whenever our taste buds are attacked by the devil's green orbs.
Still, better to have a traditional Christmas dinner, sprouts and all, in Britain than other places in the world, such as Japan where a KFC is the custom (believe it or not you have to book a table in advance for 25th December), or Bulgaria where, representing the months of the year, 12 dishes are served one after the other with not an ounce of meat in sight, while the ritual in Norway is a stuffed lamb's head.
The beauty of the UK Christmas dinner is in its variation, with each individual element combining together to make a fantastic festive feast, in much the same way as the racing programme provides...
The Turkey - King George VI Chase
The star of the whole show, commanding most column inches and how-to-succeed previews. Preparing, stuffing, roasting and resting, there are four processes towards the perfect turkey, and there are four horses who can win the high-heat King George. Preparation has sent me towards Dynaste, who can stuff and indeed roast the opposition, before a well-earned rest.
I can't put my finger on exactly why I've got a bit of a downer on Cue Card confirming the Betfair Chase form. I think, rather naively, it's because, since Haydock, his status has changed; once the perannial underdog but now finding himself the top dog, and therefore favourite for a race in which he bombed last year. Cue Card has been beaten on eight occasions when completing, four times as favourite.
I'm not convinced Cue Card will be able to/up to dominating a King George the way he did the Betfair Chase, but I am convinced Dynaste will produce another personal best, based on the fact he's just fired one in at Haydock - maintaining his general record of development - and that when he came to Kempton last winter, for the Feltham, he was little short of sensational, clearly suited to a track that does make a difference.
Pigs In Blankets - The Christmas Hurdle
Two elements, both enjoyable on their own, peculiarly kept apart for most of the year, but when wrapped up together they make magic, arguably more of a highlight than the main meaty component.
This could be epic: The New One versus My Tent Or Yours. My unwaivering belief in My Tent Or Yours as the Champion Hurdle winner is waivering, all because of what The New One is doing. Still, while many people are understably thinking that TNO will overpower MTOY in the finish, a la what he did to Zarkandar in the International, I'm concentrating more on the bit before that, when two-and-a-half-miler Zarkandar took brief advantage of TNO taking time to go through the gears, and thinking that MTOY will be able to make more of it if the same scenario arises around Kempton.
The race, though, is a Christmas cracker - My Tent Or Yours pulling at one end, The New One at the other, and the prize isn't only this Christmas Hurdle, it's very possibly the Champion Hurdle too.
Vegetables - The Welsh National
Not that appetising on its own, and something of a chore to watch through to the end, but a staple all the same and fundamental to the festive feast.
My honey-roasted parsnips amongst the sprouts and carrots this year is Merry King. He's due a big one, and this is it. Look closely at his coat and you'll see that Merry King has 'Welsh National' written all over him. He didn't jump so well as he can when fifth in the Hennessy, plus the ground wasn't so soft as suits him, but it will be at Chepstow, and Merry King has long since shaped as if extreme distances will be right up his street. His untapped stamina will be well and truly tapped into by the Welsh National, and I'll be surprised if he's as big a price on the day as he is now 15.014/1 given his profile and the fact that Jonjo O'Neill has won the race twice before with a well-backed up-and-comer, namely Mini Sensation and Synchronised.
Fine wine - Sprinter Sacre
The ideal accompaniment but, better still, to be enjoyed in large quantities on its own. Sprinter Sacre has to be enjoyed on his own, because nothing is in his league, but he's literally the gift that keeps on giving.
When he reappears in the Desert Orchid Chase at Kempton on the 27th, his adjusted Timeform rating will be 203p. That's 203, and a p, which basically means he's a monster already, but likely to make a bigger, scarier monster this season. Enjoy him while you can.
To help you get through a few blank days, I've got two things for you. Either listen to the Timeform Radio Christmas Podcast (review of the year, awards, prizes) which, at over two hours long, really does take some listening to, but is ideal during wrapping time or chopping time, or have a go at this mini racing crossword which has the added bonus of a Wolverhampton Boxing day winner (4.45) scrambled up in the shaded boxes. Happy Christmas.
Jamie's Racing Crossword
DOWN
1. 90% of trainers apparently have no idea of even how to do it (3).
3. Martin Dwyer's least favourite animated film (3,3).
5. The Mr Bumble to B.E's Mr Brownlow in the top notch story of the year (7).
6. Tell it Wright, what the ground usually is at Haydock (7).
8. T. J. Hooker in the weighing room (6).
9. Sort of pants these are liked not at the racecourse Newbury (5).
ACROSS
2. Firths mixed up, shortened version given to Clare Balding when she asked Sheikh Mohammed about MAZ (6).
4. The new sexy term for pedigree, just so we're all on the same one (4).
7. The Butler did it (7).
10. Something that Bobs Worth needs and Big Buck's doesn't (10).
