I had a tough upbringing. Having two Spurs fans as older brothers was tantamount to child abuse. I had to find my own sporting path so I picked a club making waves across 80s London comprehensives… Liverpool FC. It had little to do with trophies; I liked the colour ‘red’ and my brothers promised serious violence if I picked Arsenal.

Waiting for 'King Kenny' to sign me as a youth proved frustrating. In time Souness, Evans and Houllier would all make the same odious error so I joined The Independent sports desk instead. You know what they say in Fleet Street, “those who cannot, slag off those who can” in newsprint.

A decade later I left newspapers for the internet. I’m still missing-in-action somewhere in the web but if you see Rafa-the-Gaffer tell him to give me a chance. There’s a few decent seasons left in these knees I promise.

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