News / John Tabatabai / 19 July 2009 / Leave a comment

During my recent WSOP 2009 trip I had many interesting and funny scenarios develop out of nowhere. The most notable of these was with the king of smart degeneracy - Phil Laak.

"As I quickly reread Sun Tzu's Art of War in my head I struggled to formulate a plan to win this war."

We had just enjoyed a most scrumptious BBQ locally and were returning to our friends apartment who happened to live on the 21st floor. Our group decided to use the lift, obv! Upon reaching the 21st floor I let everyone go out first, it was then I noticed Phil was gesturing for me to go before him.

I guess at this point my Persian heritage or culture if you will, kicked in and I insisted that he went first, an Iranian etiquette thing! Phil then made it clear that he would not leave the lift until I went out. I cannot remember the exact logic going through my mind at the time however it did result in both of us taking a few steps back and discussing what was actually happening here.

It quickly transpired that Phil had no intention of ever leaving until I left, what was worse was the fact that I knew he was the epitome of "sick" and that the longer we were in the lift, the less chance I had to win this war of volition. The only way I could ever win here was by tricking him, using his weaknesses to my advantage. As I quickly reread Sun Tzu's Art of War in my head I struggled to formulate a plan to win this war. Unfortunately, Phil does not accept losses on an entirely unhuman level.

After about 20 minutes or so our friends couldn't believe we were still in the lift and Antonio Esfandiari had opened a book and was selling Phil as a 1-20 favourite! In either event, I refused to be another notch in the unabombers CV so was adamant I would stay as long as it took. Luckily for me, this was 2 days before the WSOP Main Event was about to start and I was playing on Day 4 whereas he was playing Day 2. I was already looking 4-5 days ahead as I genuinely could see no other way out.

As I was left cogitating an ingenius plan, Phil had got his girlfriend to bring in a backgammon board for us to play to kill some time. Now, i know how smart he is, he is now trying to make the phrase "I wish i was locked up with the fish for 5 years" come true! Regardless, he gave me a decent spot, we sat down and began to play. During this time, the lift was going up and down, floor to floor with various residents coming in and chatting with us. It turned out to be quite fun and sociable, apart from one young lady who seemed quit inebriated and deemed it appropriate to abuse us and take photos to prove to her friends there really were "idiots chilling" in the lifts!

An hour had gone past and the lift went back to the ground floor for the umpteenth time, but this time we had a new patron, Paris the security guard. He did not look pleased and told us that we had to get out of the lifts. He couldn't give us a reasonable explanation as to what rule we were breaking or what harm we were causing, we also explained that neither of us could possibly leave as we were pot-committed; another statement of ours which he failed to understand.

We did at least stand up and pack the backgammon board away as that could somehow, loosely be construed badly. At this point we discussed the possibility of third party interference to our plans of "lift hibernation" and agreed in the unlikely event of third party involvement to remove us from the lifts, it would be a wash, a split pot. Anyway, we continued to "chill" in the lifts and talk with the myriad of residents that were going about their daily routine. Two and a half hours later we were back at the ground floor and to my surprise and much greater to Phil's, before us were 2 local police officers!

"Gentlemen, we are only going to ask once, step outside of the elevators"

Phil and I looked at each other, we were completely baffled as to why the police would be involved and clearly we had no choice but to leave the lifts or elevators as they call them in the US.

"Take two steps back, do you have any weapons or sharp objects in your pockets? Any guns?"

"Uhh...no? Just my wallet officer," I replied, thinking this must be some sort of joke. Of course it wasn't, haven't you seen American Police Officer TV series...This is the reality over there. Instead of crime fighting they shoot civilians standing in lifts lol !!

Anyway, they asked us why we were in there, why we wouldn't leave and they clearly didn't see the humour or the degeneracy in the story. However, they said that Phil should know better (obviously they were big fans of his) and let us carry on with our day.

Although at the time i couldn't work out why the police were involved, I didn't realise it was a gift from above as I really had no chance to ever beat Phil. He would have happily stayed for days in there, getting food from his friends and sleeping without a care in the world even though there was no money on the line. Just to win. My only shot was a split pot, and I truly hit runner runner to split this pot.

Moral of story - Don't mess with the Unabomber

NOTE ***Comments on this story are temporarily turned off...to connect and chat with John see his Facebook page.***

In the unlikely event you have not seen the cardstacking destruction with me and Peter here it is below.

Related Entries

Card Come Tumbling Down
Changing a password on 888
Wynn some, lose something
Bet Sizing Heads Up (Strategy)

Play John on the Betfair Cash Tables