Football Food For Thought / Dan Fitch / 20 January 2009 / 1

Dan "The Betting Man" Fitch has mixed feelings about Manchester City's ambitions, the failed Kaka transfer and the sulking of Robinho but thanks them for hijacking Craig Bellamy's transfer to Spurs...

For a long running drama to succeed, it is necessary that the characters remain consistent in tone.

When the character of Minty was introduced in EastEnders, he was a nasty landlord, who made life hell for his female tenants. Minty was also prone to a bit of violence and often helped his mate Phil Mitchell out, when the self-appointed Guv'nor of E17 needed a spot of muscle.

But over the years, Minty has morphed into a cuddly teddy bear. He got a job working for Phil as a mechanic and then moved into a rented flat with Garry, after the writers conveniently forgot about the fact that just months before, they'd run a major storyline that depicted Minty as a property magnate.

The character of Janine has recently returned to EastEnders and it will be interesting to see how the writers cope, when she has to share a scene with the reformed Minty. When she last saw him, Minty was her sleazy landlord, pitched somewhere between Lenny McClean and one of the Kray twins, while nowadays the only 'Lenny' he resembles is the loveable simpleton from Of Mice and Men.

In football's grand soap opera, we have a cast of recognisable characters that we also expect to remain consistent in tone. Manchester United are arrogant, but undeniably stylish and deadly. A bit like James Bond, in a Nike branded tuxedo.

Tottenham would be Arthur Daley. A good deal classier than West Ham (Del Boy), but still prone to mucking up every seemingly sure-fire opportunity that comes their way.

And then there's Manchester City. The second team in Manchester have always seemed like Jack Duckworth to me. Their best days are behind them and they know deep down that they will never amount to much. Yet throughout all their troubles, they retain a certain roguish charm and a dry sense of humour in regards to the inherent tragedy of life.

That was until this season. Now, we are suddenly meant to believe that Manchester City are J.R. Ewing. For the first time in recent memory, City are no longer the poor relation in Manchester, at least not in terms of spending power.

You may have noticed that City have spent the last week attempting to buy Kaka from AC Milan. He's turned them down, which at least proves that there are still some footballers still around, who value their career in terms of medals rather than money. But whether Kaka had signed or not, was never the issue for me.

No, what I'm struggling to get my head around is just the sheer concept of Manchester City buying arguably the best player in the world. This is a club after all, that not so long ago, would proudly parade the likes of Paul Dickov around, as their big money, summer purchase.

I'm not even convinced that signing Kaka would have actually improved City that much. The Brazilian plays in essentially the same position as his countryman Robinho, who has just thrown a strop and flounced out of City's training camp. Robinho is now [10] to be the Premier League top scorer.

When Blackburn Rovers found themselves with loads of money in the 1990s, they gradually built up the quality of their team, progressively signing better quality players as the side developed. Sure, they broke transfer records as they went along, but for every Shearer and Sutton, there were plenty of solid pros such as Tony Gale, who were signed to simply do an efficient job in a particular position.

The likes of Kaka and Robinho should be the icing on the cake, applied only when the foundations of the team are 100% solid. If you bought an ex-council house and attempted to do it up, you'd first add some new kitchen units and maybe a conservatory. You wouldn't immediately install a marble staircase and a crystal chandelier.

City are currently [23.0] to be relegated this season, but have traded as low as [7.0] and are just 4 points from the relegation zone. They can be backed at [4.3] to finish in the top 6, but it's hard to imagine them overtaking the likes of Everton this season.

I don't recognise Manchester City any more. The foreign producers that have taken over the Premier League soap opera have completely recast the role of our reliable comic stooge. It's a little sad that another piece of football as we knew it, has been chipped away.

Still, I'm not completely against what the Sheiks have done at Manchester City. No words can convey how grateful I am for them hijacking Craig Bellamy's move to Tottenham.

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1. John Dinan | 20 January 2009

   Nice work Mr Fitch but i'm still laughing at Darren Bents miss!

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