X-Factor / Eliot Pollak / 27 October 2011 /

Or why The Risk are just another JLS/Eton Road, Janet Devlin is Diana Vickers and Johnny Robinson is little more than this year's Wagner/Jedward or even Chico. Harsh, we know, but blame Eliot Pollak, not us...

History is a gallery of few originals and many copies. So mused good old Alexis de Tocqueville, and if you know who he is, and you're interested in the X Factor, then the very apotheosis of Renaissance man are you.

Television producers are as lazy as the rest of us, and although they cannot sit at their desks on Facebook all day, they still find ways to avoid work. Like recycling contestants for example. Don't be fooled into thinking that X Factor discovers original new talent - you have basically seen them all before, in one guise or another...

Take current favourite Janet Devlin ([3.35]) for example (no really - take her). She has been seen before, then known as Diana Vickers, who was also the favourite to win her series (5) at one stage.

Both adopted a frightened pixie persona when off-stage, and neither seem to enjoy the discomfort that one associates with wearing shoes. Traces of Devlin can also be found in last year's runner-up Rebecca Ferguson (desperately shy, lacking in confidence), and even the queen of X Factor, Leona Lewis, who reacted with a similar self-conscious terror whenever people paid her a compliment.

Second-favourites The Risk ([3.9]) are basically JLS. They will reach the final, but everyone knows groups simply don't win this thing. Those who remember Series Three might remember an equal outpouring about how, "the country needs a new boyband" directed at the metrosexuals (and dare I say it, homosexuals) in Eton Road. Incidentally, G4 (Series one) provide further proof that groups can be popular, but they can't go all the way.

Misha Bryan ([6.4] to win) is an amalgamation of many contestants gone by. Her confident swagger and bad habit of adding raps to her song bring to mind Cher Lloyd from last year. She has a similar soulfulness to Alisha Bennett (Series Four) and Treyc Cohen (Series Seven). But she probably has most in common with Laura White (Series Five), who was very much the voice of the show for the first few weeks, but peaked too soon, losing the affections of the public, and being bundled out straight after.

Kitty Brucknell is Katie Waissel (Series Seven) - with talk of dwindling interest in the show, the judges will presumably be under orders to keep her in. She brings drama and that all-important touch of genuine madness to proceedings.

Frankie Cocozza has been on our screens before, as Tabby in Series One, and the hideous Jamie Afro (Series Six). Both failed to convince as genuine swaggering rock stars.

Meanwhile, Johnny Robinson is just another version of Wagner or Jedwood, or Chico - Louis' comedy act, destined for low rent celebrity reality shows

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