Celebrity Big Brother / Eliot Pollak / 25 August 2011 /

She's not done much, save for wind up the viewers and housemates, so is it any wonder that Sally Bercow is odds-on to leave the Big Brother house? not really says Eliot Pollak

Such is the fruity nature of Sally Bercow (bedsheet romper and part-time speaker's wife), that had she been told upon going into the house that she would be right up against a male model within the first week, she would have been delighted. Sadly for the woman who puts the COW into BERC, she isn't rubbing bodies with the hunk - merely having a showdown over who leaves the house.

The Big Brother audience are an unforgiving bunch. Bercow only came into the house in a bid to stick two fingers up at her husband, and she has endured the choppy outing expected by women of a certain age who are only celebrities if you stretch the definition to preposterous proportions.

And if you are going to insist on being not-very-famous before the show starts, it would serve you well to at least provide some entertainment. Sally has done little more than arrange a cleaning rota, in between taking sitting duck swipes at David Hasselhoff's ex-wife. What a way to live. A desperate, joyless woman, she will probably blame the Daily Mail when she gets the chop. She is [1.44], and a fairly safe bet to go.

If there is going to be a minor upset, it will find male model Bobby Sabel shown the door (available at [2.92]). Not inconceivable, given that this time around, the voters are making phone calls to SAVE the ones they like. Sabel is fairly vanilla whilst his profile is absolutely miniscule - almost as if he were shoo-horned in off the street at the very last minute because someone else pulled out (heaven forbid). But his openness in the diary room, combined with model looks may win over the pink voters. Girls will think he's hot too.

The third heifer in this two-horse showdown is of course Kerry Katona, the outsider for eviction at [34.0]. This must be strange times for the ex-Atomic Kitten, riding high on the crest of a wave of extreme celebrity in comparison to those around her. She's not in any danger of demanding a rethink from the marketing people at Iceland, but she has coped well so far. It would be an enormous shock were she to go.

The one caveat here worth noting is that Five have splashed big cash on Katona and Bercow, and would undoubtedly love to keep them in the house. Expect some seriously favourable editing of those two, ahead of Sabel.

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