Celebrity Big Brother / Dan Fitch / 10 January 2009 /

Pinder is shown the door, Coolio has hatched a cunning plan and Ulrika is faking it.

Eviction night in the Big Brother house saw the celebrity culture task rumbling on and tempers reaching boiling point. In the eye of the storm was Coolio, who unveiled his dastardly plan to win the contest.

The rapper revealed that he is planning to be so annoying that all that housemates will walk out, leaving him as the victor of the show by default. The flaw is the fact that everyone will nominate him this week and he'll probably be evicted. So he hasn't got long to drive everyone stir crazy, but boy is he going for it. Coolio can be backed at a distant [50.0] for his plan to come to fruition.

After 23-and-a-half hours of listening to Coolio rapping, putting on stupid voices and generally acting as if he suffers from Tourette's Syndrome, Lucy could take no more. She ran off into the bedroom and broke down.

What annoyed her most about being driven to tears is the fact that it would upset her family. If it's any consolation Lucy, if your family have coped with their little girl making a career out of revealing her breasts every week for the 14-year old readers of Nuts, they'll probably be able to cope with this.

As part of their celebrity couple task, Ben and Michelle had to become parents. They were given seven constantly crying, baby dolls to look after. As seven babies is around the average amount of children for a girl in her mid-twenties from Newcastle to have spawned, Michelle coped with the task admirably. The Pop Stars reject is now [38.0] to win, with Ben the [7.6] second favourite.

La Toya and Tommy had to perform their ice dance for the celebrity reality show task. As they were dancing to the Salt-N-Pepa hit Push It, they were naturally asked to dance whilst dressed as salt and pepper pots. They didn't do very well, mainly because Tommy had two left-wing feet. The politician is now the rank outsider at [100.0].

Only Ben and Michelle and Verne and Ulrika passed their tasks. Needing three passes from the five tasks for an overall pass, the housemates failed and must now cope on a budget of £1 a day per person. This will probably be alright for Verne, but the rest might struggle.

The diminutive star is now the odds-on favourite at [1.91] having confessed in the diary room that Coolio was starting to annoy him. I'm not quite sure what else he said, because while looking at Verne perched on the diary room chair, I became distracted by the thought that when you put things into perspective, Ronnie Corbett wasn't really that tiny after all.

The price for La Toya rose slightly to [13.5], after she was shown exchanging gossip with Coolio. The rapper told Jacko that Ulrika had been slagging her off. Is that how you deal with being dissed in the hood, Coolio? By telling tales? La Toya confided that Tina was always talking about Coolio behind his back. Tina is [65.0] to win and had better watch out for Coolio putting a whoopee cushion on her chair, as way of revenge. Compton style.

Earlier in the show, Jonsson and La Toya had seemed to be getting on quite well. La Toya was finding it difficult to get her head round the rather complicated family tree that comes from having four children with four different fathers. When a Jackson thinks that your family is weird, then you really know that you've made some mistakes in your life.

Coolio was getting all sexy again and turned his attentions back to his original target, Mutya. He told her that she had pretty ears, presumably because this is the only part of her body that is not tattooed. The former Sugababe is actually surprisingly likeable and has fallen in price to [19.5].

Finally, it was time for the eviction. As they waited for the result, Ulrika did her best to pretend that she was crying and desperate to get home, yet when Davina revealed that Lucy was evicted, Ulrika's face clearly showed relief. The public like you more than a topless model Ulrika! The Swede can now be backed at [20.0].

I must admit though, that I had been looking forward to seeing Davina meet Ulrika, as I believe it would be the first televised interview between a subject and presenter who had both slept with Stan Collymore. Guess I'll just have to wait for them to compare notes.

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