Celebrity Big Brother / Dan Fitch / 13 January 2009 /

There's talk of amour in the air, according to (umm) LaToya Jackson (no less). Oh, and Tina's been eating her toenails. Lovely. Catch up with all the gossip from the Big Brother house with Dan Fitch.

Last night's show started with Ulrika still being upset with Terry, over his comments about her being 'high handed' and thinking herself 'better than the rest'. Terry refused to back down from his original statement and the betting public must agree with him to some extent, as his price dropped to [8.6].

Personally, I'm not sure that you could ever accuse someone who slept with Sven Goran Eriksson as having high self-esteem. My beef with Jonsson is more to do with the fact that she craves attention.

A point that has not been lost on La Toya, who claimed that she thought Ulrika was playing a game, claiming: "We inadvertently do things for attention and we don't realise it."

A good example of such behaviour would be your brother building a theme park in his back garden, having plastic surgery that made him look like you and sharing living space with a chimpanzee.

While Ulrika sulked alone in the garden, a big row was erupting in house regarding the merits of Facebook. Actually it wasn't really a row, but Tina is unable to have a normal conversation, without screaming to the extent that it sounds as if World War III is kicking off. The mouthy Scouser is now a massive [110.0] to win.

Coolio pointed out that he has over 300,000 friends on MySpace, which makes it all the more tragic that he doesn't have any in the house. Ben again brought up the fact that he met his last three girlfriends on Facebook, as if this statement was the defining argument which proved the merits of social networking sites, rather than just making him sound like a complete cretin.

Realising that she wasn't getting any attention in the garden, Ulrika went into the bedroom, where she was comforted by Tina. I thought that the image of Tina wearing lycra was bad enough, but it had nothing on her picking at her feet while she listened to Ulrika drone on.

At the point where she started to bite her own toenails, I had to look away from the screen, only to find that hearing the crunching sound of Tina gnawing away at her trotters was even more disturbing than the visual image.

The American housemates, Coolio, Verne and La Toya, were given a task in which they had to take a quiz on British culture. This was mainly an excuse for the producers to dress Verne in a little Beefeater costume. This alone ensured that Verne stayed the favourite at [1.65].

The British housemates set about helping the Americans prepare for the task. Mutya helped Coolio with his pronunciation of the Queen's English, which was never going to work, considering that she talks more like Ali G than Elizabeth R.

As ever on Big Brother, the task came attached to a massive twist. As the Americans went off to take the quiz, the British housemates had to put on suits that contained electric shock devices. Every time the Americans made a mistake, the British would receive a painful shock, which when you think about it, is quite an insightful allegory upon the relationship between the two nations.

Though the Americans got enough questions wrong to satisfy our hunger for seeing the British housemates receive powerful electrical shocks, they eventually passed the task and won three tokens.

The other big talking point on the show was a potential romance. La Toya mysteriously intimated to Tina that she thought that two people in the house were in love with each other. Surely not Ulrika and Terry?

It turned out that La Toya was talking about Michelle and Ben. Tina then presented the theory to Ulrika as if it were her own. Female fans of Ben are likely to turn against Michelle in the voting, which explained her price drifting to [55.0]. Ben is now the third favourite at [9.4].

In the diary room, Ben gave a rather unconvincing speech in which he stated that he felt no attraction towards Michelle. Despite his denials, I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised to see the couple gracing the front cover of some tabloid rag in the not-too-distant-future, exclusively proclaiming their love for one another.

Although of course, if a relationship is to blossom, it will first be necessary for Michelle to become friends with Ben on Facebook.

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