Celebrity Big Brother 2009: Opening night
Chubby popstars, Tory glamour models, Socialist politicans and a gangster's paradise. Dan Fitch discusses the opening night of Celebrity Big Brother 2009.
Last night we finally saw what we've all been waiting for. Namely, the faces of the celebrities entering the Big Brother house, whose names we'd read in the News of the World about a fortnight ago.
Some of these celebrities were so obscure that it was necessary to see a face, to put to the name. Luckily, when I still didn't recognise them, there was always Wikipedia to fall back on.
Yes, Friday was entry night to the Celebrity Big Brother house and the betting has already kicked off at Betfair. The early favourite is Vern 'Mini-Me' Troyer, who is available at predictably short odds.
Troyer is priced at just [2.42]. So far Vern's fellow celebrities are doing their best to not patronise him, though I've already caught Coolio patting the Austin Powers star on the head and Tommy Sheridan referring to him as 'boy', despite the fact that Troyer is 40-years-old.
Last into the house, but certainly not least in terms of the fee she's being paid, is Ulrika Jonsson. The problem with having Ulrika on the show is the sheer amount of celebs it rules out for the producers. Straight away, they had to cross out the names of Sven Goran Eriksson, John Leslie, Stan Collymore, Hunter from Gladiators and Prince Edward, all of whom would have been available at smaller odds than Jonsson's [14.0].
First into the house was La Toya Jackson, who can be backed at [30.0]. She revealed that as a girl she wanted to be an attorney but was stopped by her father. Considering how much her family have spent on legal fees, this is a move he surely regrets.
Second favourite at [7.6] is Ben Adams. Ben is the formerly chubby member of the boy-band A1, who were so named because of Adams' inability to pass a motorway service station without stopping for some Little Chef action. Adams says that he doesn't like people 'who walk around as if they're Michael Jackson', so he might not get on too well with La Toya.
At [17.0] is the Shameless star Tina Malone, who according to Davina has lost 4 stone 7 lbs this year, which isn't bad considering it's only January 3rd.
Glamour girl Lucy Pinder is available at [26.0] and seems realistic about her own talents, having stated that she is 'famous for her boobs'. She revealed that she is a Tory girl and her popularity (or lack thereof), may serve as a useful barometer to measure the likelihood of David Cameron becoming our next PM.
It will be interesting to see how Pinder gets on with socialist politician Tommy Sheridan, who can be backed at [36.0]. Also likely to clash with Lucy are the ex-Sugababe Mutya Buena (32.0) and former Liberty X member Michelle Heaton (27.0), on the grounds that they both seem quite bitchy and Pinder is much better looking than them.
Last to pick a bed was Terry Christian, who was rewarded by being given his own private room, handed immunity from the first eviction and made Head of House. Christian is priced at [11.0] and is likely to be edited kindly, considering that Channel 4 would probably like to bring back The Word.
My early pick to win is Coolio at [14.5]. The gangster rapper looks like he will form the classic big guy/small guy double act with Mini-Me and even more crucially for the producers, it's really unlikely that anyone will dare to racially abuse him.
Back Coolio at these early odds and we can all be living in a Gangsters Paradise in 3 weeks time.
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