Celebrity Big Brother / Dan Fitch / 06 January 2009 /

Lucy may have been deprived the opportunity to demonstrate her considerable talents but the rapper is still walking around the house like a dog on heat, says Dan Fitch. But is he really about to join the least exclusive club in show business?

Last night's show saw the housemates having to undertake a Celebrity Showcase task. Each member of the house had to demonstrate the talent which had made them famous, with the housemate deemed to be the least talented by Head of House Terry Christian [8.2], being nominated for eviction.

I can't have been the only bloke that was quite excited at the prospect of Lucy Pinder showing off her talents, but the producers at Channel 4 obviously decided that this would be gratuitous (in a way that Hollyoakes presumably isn't) and instead asked Lucy to give a lecture on the subject of the Labour Party.

Unfortunately, Lucy's oral skills weren't up to much. Also struggling on the big stage was Vern, who when recreating a scene from Romeo and Juliet with Tina, proved that his height wasn't the only reason he'd never been cast in a Shakespearean drama.

Arguably the most painful performance was that of Michelle [28.0], who caterwauled her way through a version of the Liberty X song 'Just A Little' and proved Nigel Lythgoe correct in his decision not to give her a place in Hear'Say.

When it came to Ulrika's turn, I half expected half a dozen footballers to be lined, up, but she was instead given the chance to show the other reason she became famous and gave a weather report.

All the other housemates demonstrated their talents ably enough, leaving Terry to make the decision on who was the least talented. Unsurprisingly, he choose Lucy. Shame on you Channel 4. If you'd let Lucy demonstrate what she was really famous for, she could have just dished them out and stood there for five minutes. After that, any red-blooded man would agree that she was talented. Lucy is now the [75.0] outsider in the betting.

Last night's show was also notable for the fact that Coolio started to get on everyone's nerves. He's wandering around the house like a dog on heat. We've already seen him flirt with Mutya [24.0] and this episode opened with Coolio trying it on with Lucy.

The rapper then set about joining the least exclusive club in show business, when he lowered his sights upon Ulrika [34.0]. When she revealed that she had four kids, he screamed: "Damn woman. Let's make it five."

When he wasn't trying to have sex, Coolio was talking about it. At one point the droll Geordie narrator said: "Coolio has been talking non-stop for 37 minutes". The faces of his fellow housemates, showed a level of boredom only normally witnessed on the face of a Celebrity Big Brother viewer.

Coolio appears to be on a collision course with gobby Tina [30.0]. The actress was not best pleased when Coolio laughed at Michelle's comment, which compared her to the princess in Shrek. Michelle had meant the pretty version of the princess, rather than the ogre she becomes at the end of the film (yeah, right), but Coolio got the wrong end of the stick (again - yeah, right) and ended up upsetting everyone with his guffawing.

Tina confided to Ulrika, that she thought that Coolio was threatened by her personality and this was why he complimented all the women in the house, apart from her. Nothing to do then, with you being the only woman in the house that Coolio wouldn't want to have sex with?

The public are obviously enjoying Coolio's antics, as his price dropped further to [6.4]. Vern is still the favourite at [3.05], but there has to be a time when people get over the fact that he's cute and realise that he rarely says anything and spends most of his time asleep.

La Toya continues to fall in price and can now be backed at [8.2]. She's getting on well with everyone, but there could be problems ahead after she revealed that she cries if she sees people arguing.

Oh dear. Pass her the Kleenex someone.

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