Big Brother 11 / Eliot Pollak / 02 July 2010 /

BB11 seems determined to go out with the lamest of whimpers but Eliot Pollak is battling on and brings another bulletin from the house

We were promised a grand finale. We were promised the series to end all series. Half right I guess. This lame and dull BB11 has categorically assured that there will never be another series of Big Brother.

For those who tend to only catch 15 minutes during Alan Shearer's half-time punditry, here's a brief update. Tonight will see the third evictee drop the shoulder on the old house, and it's a showdown between Sunshine, Shabby and Caoimhe (pronounced Basil or something equally unrelated to the letters charged with composing her name). Appropriately enough given the current weather, Sunshine should last through to next week - it looks a two-horse race between the sexually-confused duo.

The markets unsurprisingly have the bitchy Caoimhe as hot favourite to exit, priced at just [1.2]. The hormonally jumbled 17-year-old girls who watch this guff love a good romance. They even love a bit of slap and tickle (but ironically, not Jon Tickle as BB4 proved).

What they deride however above all is a tease, a lady who blows hot and cold, but never ends up actually doing any blowing. The lovely, charismatic and intriguing Noirin last year, a potentially awesome housemate, ended up dumped early, as viewers were infuriated with her flirtatious antics. Caoimhe's frolicking with the Shabmeistress has probably not gone down too well in the terraced houses of Croydon.

In addition, whilst gay men have effectively dominated reality television like a karaoke bar in Brighton, gay women have never really conquered the genre. Not since Anna in BB1, has a homosexual woman gone all the way on British television.

So in a nutshell, the one with the weird name should pack her bags. But what I hear you cry, has the winner's market been up to this week?

Josie is the new favourite, in as short as [5.3]. As the greatest exponent of the 'girl next door' (albeit in a slightly rough neighbourhood), it may well be hers to lose from here on in. Let's not forget, the last two winners Rachel Rice and Sophie Reade, were very much of that ilk.

In addition, she also has a 'will they/won't they' thing going on with John James, that gives her an extra bit in the invincibility locker. Another big mover is Ben, in to [8.4], possibly on the back of his attempts to re-enact Brideshead Revisited with Mario.

Next week, the fourth eviction, and a look at the rumoured Champions League Big Brother that the producers are obviously keeping all the budget and ideas for.

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