Diary / Jonathan Wilson / 12 June 2008 / Leave a comment

Jonathan Wilson on a bizarre night with a fading pop star

The plan had been to have an early night before yesterday's seven-hour journey to Geneva, but that was before we came upon the media lounge. I keep insisting this is a job, not a jolly, but this was definitely a jolly. In fact, it was more than that: it was some kind of journalist's fantasy - a free bar, with excellent free food, a big screen showing Sweden v Greece and then, just in case you were tempted to go home before midnight, a visit from Haddaway.

That didn't mean much to me, I confess, but then I know about as much about music as the UEFA technical committee knows about awarding man of the match (Ujfalusi? Makelele? They may as well just name it "that bloke we think we've heard of, and be done with the charade). Apparently he's a Euro-pop star of about 15 years ago most noted for "What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more."

It seems locals shelled out 50 Euros a head for a ticket to watch journalists stuff themselves while Haddaway performed a desultory sound-check. After which, seemingly bored, he wandered over and spent the night drinking with the British press. Holland [7.0], he believes, will win (he is Dutch), despite the absence of his mate Clarence Seedorf . He also professes to be a friend of Frank Rijkaard and, slightly more surprisingly, the Russian aluminium magnate Oleg Deripaska. Apparently they banter about the size of each others' yachts: Deripaska's is three times longer than Haddaway's, so he always suggests the singer should give them a lift from the shore out to the deep water when his boat is moored.

Haddaway may have slipped off the radar in western Europe (I say may have; I really haven't a clue whether he was ever on the radar), but he remains massive in the former Soviet Union. Just in case we didn't believe this, Haddaway produced a whole series of ticket stubs and boarding passes charting his travels through places like Irkutsk, Ekaterinburg and Moscow.

And then, most weirdly, a receipt for the 6,000 Euros he says German tax authorities seized from him in Munich when he tried to pass through carrying 40,000 Euros in cash. The lesson to be learned there is that if you have a wad of notes that thick, the security strips in them will set off airport metal detectors.

Speaking of notes, cash points in Switzerland seem to delight in dishing out 100 and 200Fr bills - £50 and £100 - which are then a nightmare to get changed. There is also a notice in the media centre in Basel advising journalists that the canteen will not accept 1000Fr notes. 1000Fr? £500? Can anybody explain, crime aside, why anybody would ever need a £500 note? Imagine leaving one of them in your jeans and sticking it in the washing machine.

So it was groggily that I set off on the seven-hour journey back west to Geneva yesterday morning. I may not have met any former Korean internationals this time, but it was a train packed with journalists. I shared a carriage as far as Bern with Martin Tyler, who had been stopped by security outside the stadium in Innsbruck because he was carrying two pens. Presumably the logic is that if you're an Al-Qaeda operative and you only have one pen, you can only blind your victims one eye at a time.

I then met Christoph Biermann, football correspondent of Der Spiegel, who pointed out that the Greece v Spain game had been like watching an historical re-enactment society acting out a game from the early eighties. Greece with a sweeper and a man-marker following Zlatan Ibrahimovic around, and Sweden with a very basic 4-4-2.

I was concerned I might nod off during Portugal v the Czech Republic, but the game was more than engaging enough to slice through the hangover. Portugal were nowhere near as impressive as they had been against Turkey, looking vulnerable to any aerial ball. The Czechs were probably a touch unlucky, but the difference was Cristiano Ronaldo is. He actually had a pretty poor game, was so frustrated with himself that he had a rant at a ball-boy midway through the second half, yet somehow scored one and set up two.

This proved that Portugal [5.9] for the tournament can play far from their peak and still win - always a handy skill to have - but the real issue now is how the news of Luiz Felipe Scolari's move to Chelsea will affect them. They still look good, but either Croatia [24.0] or Germany [4.7] might fancy out-muscling them in the knockout stages. Anyway, if Haddaway is to be believed, it's all academic anyway: this is Holland's year.

Tags: Croatia, Germany, Haddaway, Luis Felipe Scolari, Portugal