Why Murali is rubbish and Sri Lanka won't win the upcoming Test series

Bat and ball / Chicken Dinner / 19 November 2007 / 1

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The Betfair Contrarian has been let out of his box again and this time is having his say on England's upcoming Test series in Sri Lanka

The Betfair Contrarian: Why Sri Lanka will not beat England in their forthcoming test series.
(You can currently lay Sri Lanka on Betfair at [1.93], or back England to win the series at [4.1].

England's adventures around the world's cricket pitches over the last few years have all too often been accompanied by Laurel and Hardy music and a great deal of slapstick, occasionally off the field ("Fredalo") but more often than not, on it. They are shortly due to board the funny car again, destination Sri Lanka, for more pie throwing and Muralitharan's tying them in knots until they look like something a children's entertainer would make from balloons. After losing their last series, at home to India, the pessimists will be muttering darkly about an inevitable England defeat in Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka, after all, are ranked higher than India and playing at home. But shut your faces, doubters - and here's why.

1. England don't have a monopoly on comedic preparation

Sri Lanka batsman Marvin Attapattu last week called the selectors "muppets headed by a joker," hardly a sign of a team fully focussed on the job at hand. As evidence of their lack of cohesion, Sri Lanka lost the first test in Australia recently by an innings. The second test has started depressingly for them as well.

2. Further evidence not all is not well emerges...

...from Thursday's Guardian: "Muralitharan's advance on Shane Warne's record 708 test wickets has slowed to a crawl....Captain Jaywardene copes as best he can with the instability...Kumar Sangakkara is afflicted by injury and lack of form." It's like the last pages of Scott's diary from the south pole.

3. Number of times Sri Lanka have beaten England in a test series: one

It has been 25 years since England's first test match against Sri Lanka. In supremely condescending fashion, England then played five occasional tests against Sri Lanka until 2001, and it wasn't until 2003 that Sri Lanka enjoyed their first and only ever series win against England by the thumping margin of 1-0 in a best-of-three. That victory (Sri Lanka's fourth largest ever, by an innings by an inns and 215 runs) was also something of a freak - 11 of Sri Lanka's biggest 13 victories have come against the practice sides Zimbabwe or Bangladesh. Teams that rely on freak results to win series cannot expect to win series very often.

4. In surprises, England most recently have the upper hand over Sri Lanka

Just over a month ago, England's one day team "completed England's first series victory in the subcontinent since 1987, and overturned the Sri Lankans on home soil for the first time ever" (Cricinfo). You have probably done your best to forget that the previous one day series between the two resulted in a 5-0 whitewash of England in England last year. According to the Cricinfo report, the key to England's success was the "pace, hostility and above all accuracy," of bowlers Ryan Sidebottom, James Anderson and Stuart Broad, who are all in the 15-man test party. Sri Lanka's bowlers, in contrast, are currently watching Australia's batsmen vandalise their averages to matchwood.

5. The first test is at Kandy.

Sri Lanka have never beaten have never beaten England in a test at Kandy.

6. And in a straight pissing contest...

Sri Lanka may have the world's best bowler in Muralitharan, but England have the world's second best batsman in Kevin Pietersen. By the time the series starts, Murali should have broken Shane Warne's records for test wickets, which can't help but take the edge off his hunger for wicket acquisition. Pietersen, in contrast, remains as obnoxious, nasty and contemptuous of bowling as ever.

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Andy H | 19 November 2007

Great article, thoroughly entertaining and I admire your dogged attempt at contrarianism.

Not sure Pietersen in current form is really the second best batsman in the world and though Sidebottom was excellent in the one day series, Anderson's radar still needs fine tuning. Sri Lanka at home are a tough proposition and though they are struggling down under, it isn't that long ago that England were doing the same.

Fascinating series coming up and I think everyone should take the opportunity to watch Muralitheran while they can