Ashes Diary / Ed Hawkins / 23 November 2010 /

Ed Hawkins offers some tips about how to stay bright and alert for the midnight marathons from Down Under

The hype, the tub-thumping, the wild patriotism, the posturing, the adrenaline. Well, the first Ashes Test is almost upon us. Now all we have to do is stay awake.

And England's players reckon they have it hard to become only the third team in the last 20 years to win Down Under. Us mere mortals, who can only afford a Sky subscription, have to fight back the forces of nature to witness it.

It will be some battle. Fortunately, I might be able to be of some assistance. Throughout the Ashes I will be writing a live in-running betting blog. This will, at least, keep me awake. And if it is entertaining enough, it should keep you awake, too.

Although, I hasten to add, that there will be occasions that I am just too knackered to stay up for 24 hours straight - I do have the odd day's work to do, too - and instead will opt to produce a report on what we can expect to happen on the forthcoming day's action.

I know that time will come when I leave my house in my underpants, or put the butter in the oven and the cat (I don't have one) in the fridge. Or, most worryingly of all, ponder what a tremendous amount of sense Sir Ian Botham speaks.

Apart from logging on to betting.betfair to read the live blog and take part in some of the value-busting wagers that will be recommended, here are my top tips to staying awake.

1 Take amphetamines. Drastic times call for drastic measures, this is an Ashes series we're talking about, folks. There are downsides, of course but the high is better than the low. This option will also help Alastair Cook look as though he is batting like Viv Richards.

2 Scientists reckon that a combination of caffeine, social interactivity and constant activity is your best hope. So set up your living room as an 'all-comers welcome' midnight coffee shop. Best hide away any valuables, though.

3 Get plenty of fresh air. This does not mean you need to take a stroll in the garden for a couple of minutes every hour or so. Sadly, it's more radical than that. Open all the windows and doors in your house. Let in that winter chill.

4 Have a row with your significant other. They always say 'never go to bed on a row' so if you have five in a row that will sort you out for a whole Test. Potential ignition topics include: the gas bill, the mother-in-law and the comely blonde who has just moved in next door. If it looks as though you are struggling for the crucial action on day four or day five, best criticise her dress sense and then suggest you divide the house so you each have separate 'wings' to live in

5 Watch something else, anything, if Paul Collingwood comes into bat

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