2010-11 Ashes Betting / Dan Fitch / 07 October 2010 /

Dan Fitch looks at the greatest ever Ashes sledges.

The former England fast bowler Harold Larwood once said: "A cricket tour in Australia would be the most delightful period in your life ... if you were deaf."

When you play cricket against the Australians, you can always expect some sledging. For the uninitiated a 'sledge' is an insult designed to put the opposition off their game. Whilst the Aussies might be the pioneers of the art, the English have proved that they are quick learners and give as good as they get.

Here are the 20 greatest sledges made during England v Australia games.

20. Craig McDermott to Phil Tufnell

Tufnell has just bowled out McDermott.

"You've got to bat on this in a minute, Tuffers. Hospital food suit you?"

19. Ian Healey v Michael Atherton

Healey: "You're a f*****g cheat."

Atherton: "When in Rome dear boy..."

18. Derek Randall to Dennis Lillee

Lillee hits Randall on the head with a bouncer.

"No good hitting me there, mate, nothing to damage."

17. Jeff Thomson to David Steele

Who's this then? Father bloody Christmas?"

16. Aussie fan to Phil Tufnell

"Oi Tuffers, lend us your brain, I'm trying to build an idiot."

15. Nasser Hussain to Justin Langer

"I don't mind this lot chirping at me but you're just the bus driver."

14. Douglas Jardine v Bill Woodfull

Jardine: "Your slip just swore at me."

Woodfull: "All right, which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?"

13. David Steele to Rodney Marsh

"Take a good look at this arse of mine, you'll see plenty of it this summer."

12. Glenn McGrath to Michael Atherton

McGrath: "Athers it would help if you got rid of the shit at the end of your bat."

Atherton looks at the bottom of his bat.

McGrath: "No, No, the other end."

11. Merv Hughes v Robin Smith

Hughes: "You can't f*****g bat."

Smith hits Hughes for four.

Smith: ."Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f*****g bat and you can't f*****g bowl."

10. Aussie fan to Bob Willis

"Oi, Willis, I didn't know they could stack s**t that high."

9. Dennis Lillee to Mike Gatting

"Hell, Gatt, move out of the way, I can't see the stumps."

8. Ian Botham to Rodney Hogg

As Rodney Hogg bowls to Botham he loses his balance and falls at the England player's feet.

"I know you think I'm great Hoggy, but no need to get down on your knees."

7. Merv Hughes v Robin Smith 2

Hughes: "It's four years since I bowled to you and you haven't improved"

Smith hits Hughes for four.

Smith: "Neither have you."

6. Tony Greig v David Hookes

Tony Greig: "Come on, you baby faced bastard, you're too young to be out here playing with men."

David Hookes: "At least I am an Australian, representing my own country in a test match."

5. Shane Warne to Paul Collingwood

"You score seven and they give you an MBE?"

4. Merv Hughes to Graeme Hick

"Mate, if you just turn the bat over you'll find the instructions on the other side."

3. Tim Zoehrer to Phil Edmunds

"At least I have an identity. You're just Frances Edmonds' husband."

2. Rodney Marsh v Ian Botham

Rodney Marsh: "So how's your wife and my kids?"
Ian Botham: "The wife's fine - the kids are retarded."

1. Mark Waugh v James Ormond

Mark Waugh: "F**k me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England."

James Ormond: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family".

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