Footballers are self-employed so I can't afford to take my paternity leave

David Artell / David Artell / 08 November 2007 / 2 Comments Free £25 Bet

Morecambe's star defender David Artell on selfishness amongst footballers, being a father for the second time and Andy Johnson's love affair with the penalty box

Last Saturday was rather strange as I wasn't playing or watching football. This was due to me being suspended and the gaffer telling me to have the weekend off. It wasn't actually a weekend off as the wife had a list as long as my arm of jobs to do before the new baby arrives on Monday but more of that later.

It's always a strange one when you're not playing as you want the team to do well but the player in your position to have a stinker. The ideal score for a defender is a 5-4 win with the player who has replaced you to be at fault for all four of the opposition's goals. On the other hand, when a striker is suspended they want a 1-0 win with the scorer being anyone other than an attacker. It might sound bizarre but as my youth coach said to me 'footballers are self-employed' and this point illustrates that fact. You want the team to do well but not at your expense and if the team does do well without you you've only got yourself to blame, no one else, certainly not the player who has replaced you. I find it hard, as most players do, to watch your team as I always get frustrated but that's the nature of the game.

As I mentioned earlier our second child will be here on Monday as my wife is booked in for a Caesarean. She's not 'too posh to push', it's just that she's only 5'4'' and with our first daughter weighing nearly 10 pounds when she was born (by Caesarean) the obstetrician decided a similar situation would occur. Even though a footballer's child is being born, we're not booked into the Portland Hospital but the local NHS one. And we haven't signed a lucrative deal with OK or Hello for the first baby pictures although I'm still waiting by the phone! Although we know when she is arriving, the timing is not ideal as we have an away game at Hartlepool the following night and then an overnight stay at Grimsby on the Saturday. Although I'm entitled to two weeks paternity leave I don't know a footballer who has taken up this option mainly because you will lose your place and may not get it back. That would more than likely be the case at Morecambe as we have a good squad who can all hold their own in League 2.

Going back to last week's column and my pre-match preparations, Dan Dainty e-mailed in to ask whether or not I have any superstitions. Well the short answer is no, although I never polish my boots which I say is a superstition I guess though everyone else calls it downright laziness!

I see Andy Johnson has signed another 5 year contract only 16 months since he signed his last one. I would expect he has received a pay rise but if Everton had any sense there would be a clause in it saying he can't take penalties as he's missed more than his fair share! To be fair to Johnson it's usually him that wins the penalty in the first place, although I do think he needs to work on his acting abilities as he tends to go down rather too easily. David Moyes' defence in saying that it's because of the speed he's travelling at and therefore the slightest nudge sends him over is rubbish as you don't see other quick players going over as easily as he does. I'm certainly not having a go at Johnson. However, if referees never give penalties when a player tries to stay on his feet, there's no reason why he should try to do just that. But referees are a discussion for another day.

Johnson's team faces Chelsea at the Bridge on Sunday and I can't see him being on the winning side. Although Everton are a much improved side under David Moyes, they face a challenging UEFA Cup tie on Thursday in Nuremberg and Chelsea have an extra days rest after their European tie so I would go for Chelsea winning at both half time and full time and at 2.08 it looks a great bet.

David Artell plays for Morecambe FC:

Tags: David Artell, football betting, League 2 football, Morecambe FC