The Ugliest World Cup XI
Dan Fitch pays tribute to the World Cup players who were blessed with footballing talent, but were not blessed in the looks department.
Ever tire of your wife or girlfriend going gooey-eyed over the Italians during the World Cup? Is it their ball control she's interested in, or just those tight shorts?
Luckily there have been some truly ugly players at World Cups over the years, who have helped us feel better about ourselves.
Here's our ugliest World Cup XI.
Goalkeeper - Rustu Reckber - Turkey - 2002
Just edging out the albino mountain gorilla Oliver Kahn, is Rustu Reckber, whose ugly mug was no one's idea of a Turkish delight.
Right Back - Michael Reiziger - Holland - 1998
The Dutch might play pretty football, but there was nothing pretty about their right back at the 1998 World Cup.
Left Back - Christian Ziege - Germany - 1998, 2002
One look at Christian Ziege's pot-marked face is certain to evoke the phrase 'careless beekeeper'.
Centre Back - Trifon Ivanov - Bulgaria - 1994
Our captain is Trifon Ivanov, a man whose personal grooming habits did nothing to improve upon the poor hand dealt to him by the gene pool.
Centre Back - Ivan Campo - Spain - 1998
Ivan Campo rivals his nation's treatment of animals, as the ugliest thing to come out of Spain.
Midfield - Nobby Stiles - England - 1966, 1970
Surely, no one has ever been more proud of having no teeth as Nobby Stiles.
Midfield - Alvaro Recoba - Uruguay - 2002
Alvaro Recoba = Nelson Muntz from The Simpsons. His nickname in Uruguay is 'El Chino', which is Spanish for 'The Chinaman'.
Midfield - Franck Ribery - France - 2006, 2010
A picture of Ribery on the mantelpiece is a surefire way to keep your kids away from the fire.
Midfield - Ronaldinho - Brazil - 2002, 2006
Ronaldinho has been a brilliant footballer over the years, but can we ever forgive him for being the inspiration behind George Lucas' decision to inflict Jar Jar Binks upon the world?
Striker - Peter Beardsley - England - 1986, 1990
A face that only a mother could love and a hairstyle that only a mother could have cut.
Striker - Carlos Tevez - Argentina - 2006, 2010
Lou Ferrigno's stunt double on The Incredible Hulk.