X-Factor / Eliot Pollak / 21 October 2010 / 1

It's been a bad week for Waissel who seems addicted to aggravation, lying and putting her foot in it, says Eliot Pollak

So the Comprehensive Spending Review means you'll be living in a shoebox for the next year. Who cares - time for some real news. Here is the rundown of this week's X Factor headlines.

Katie Waissel usurps Ashley as the most vile person to have ever been connected to Cheryl

One Direction travelling in the direction of Emily Atack's bed

Wagner leaves house - is he now the Flying Brazilian (clever opera gag kids - google it. Alright, not that clever.)

Cheryl Cole seems determined to emphatically prove herself as a woman rather lacking in rational judgement, having first married Ashley Cole, and now in selecting Waissel for her category.

Katie's list of offences just keeps growing. What started with those drama-queen auditions forcing out a wonderful Gamu-shaped talent, has navigated through ridiculous first show head gear, and now ended in a week of chaos in which she has been bickering with horrendous one-girl N-Dubz urchin Cher Lloyd, in addition to having been accused of making up bogus sex stories about favourite Matt.

She is now quite simply universally hated, to the point where she has hilariously been redubbed Katie Weasel. Unsurprisingly, she has spiked hugely in the betting, and is now [65.0] to win the X Factor, and is odds-on to be in the bottom three come Saturday night.

Incidentally, Cher is not getting great press either right now. First painted as a fragile teen with a highly probable eating disorder, subliminal messages in the press suggest that she spends most of her downtime kissing her teeth and judging people. Young girls might find her a little bit too terrifying, so a lay is probably in order.

Meanwhile, that hot girl from the Inbetweeners suggested in an interview that she'd love to do naughty things with each and every member of One Direction - her exact quote was something about the only direction one of them would be going would be into her bed. See what she's done there.

At [1.04] to win the Groups category, it appears Betfair punters are equally keen to get with the guys.

And finally...the wonderful Wagner could be in trouble after it transpired that he's stormed out of the house, and moved into a Travel Lodge. If he is going to survive this contest for a bit longer, his defined role is to be a larger-than-life all round entertainer. Not a grumpy old hippy who can't be arsed to talk to young people.

Rather hilariously, one report has even stated hat he has been deliberately spraying gigantic clouds of deodorant all around the house, hoping to handicap the others by giving them throat problems.

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1. Anonymous | 23 October 2010

   Xfactor is not wat it use to be, its a joke they even repeat song come on man

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