X-Factor / Jack Houghton / 27 November 2010 /

Jack Houghton salutes his rival, upbraids contestants for their tautologous tatts and selects the best bets for this week's elimination.

For two years they've clashed over the X-Factor. In 2008, Mike Norman prevailed. In 2009, Jack Houghton made it honours even. Norman's claims of foul-play last year sparked a brawl at the betting.betfair Christmas party. To avoid a repeat performance, the editors have decided to formalise things this year. Each armed with a £1,000 and their We-Love-You-Simon badges, Mike Norman and Jack Houghton go head-to-head - tipping their way to a Christmas number one.

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Sometimes things look simple. Go and have a look at the picture of Mike Norman if you don't believe me.

But nothing screams simplicity quite like the elimination market this week. As far as all logic dictates, there are only two acts that can possibly be in the bottom two. More on that later though - I must turn attention to my tipping nemesis.

Congratulations, Mike. That was one helluva last-ditch swing you took on Paije being eliminated last week and - schwacka! - you really connected. What seems to have been missed though is my own big swing - tipping up Cher at [95.0] to go. If only Louis had let it go to deadlock, then who knows...

The thing is, the stories of near-misses are to be found in dusty tomes in the library of losers; so you'll hear no more on the matter from me. And anyway, with so much attention-grabbing action in X Factorville there has been little time to lament the what-could-have-beens (one of the lesser-known 57 varieties).

Tattoos have been in the news this week. According to reports, Katie has inked on her wrist: "Be strong, stay strong, fate will prevail, 24/7." I'm all for tattoos; I love them. When I was younger I had the name of my first love penned somewhere intimate. Her name was Gwendolyn - although the tattoo read "Gwen" in the winter. My issue with Katie's choice is that it's so grammatically inelegant: if you're "being" strong, surely there's no need to remind yourself to "stay" strong? And the modal auxiliary verb "will" makes the "24/7" a little redundant. What's the world coming to? Even our tattoo artists are incapable of turning a solid phrase.

Double tautologies aside, we also read that Cheryl has added to her body art, having a ribbon drawn around an existing butterfly on her back. Cheryl's other tattoos include the text "Mrs C" written on her neck - seen by many as a regretful remnant of her marriage to Ashley Cole; by others as a contractual necessity if sitting next to Simon on the show. Anyhow, the girls will be hoping all this talk of tattoos can drum up some extra support. Get it? Tattoo? Drum up? I'm too funny.

The biggest story in recent days though comes courtesy of Katie's gran. If reports are to be believed, if you switch to the adult channel - Red Hot 40+ - at 3.20am on Sunday morning you will be able to watch: Freddie's British Grannies 15 (I hear the first 14 instalments were excellent) - which, allegedly, stars Katie's grandmother, Sheila Vogel. If you want updating on this whole, remarkable story, then click here.

Back to that simple certainty promised earlier. Of the remaining acts, only Cher and Katie have been in the bottom two since the show started - with Katie facing that ignominy on four of seven occasions. Save for a stunningly dreadful performance by one of the more established acts, it is hard to see how either of the girls can avoid being up for the boot this week. So in the 10th Elimination market, I'm having £100 on each of Cher [4.9] and Katie [2.5].

Betting bank running total = £610.20.

This week's recommendations:

£100 BACK Cher at [4.9] in 10th Elimination Market.
£100 BACK Katie at [2.5] in 10th Elimination Market.

Previous recommendations:
£70 BACK Matt Cardle at [5.1] in Outright Market - OPEN.
£30 BACK Cheryl Cole at [7.0] in First Mentor Eliminated Market - OPEN.
£50 BACK Matt Cardle at [5.4] in Outright Market - OPEN.
£50 BACK Rebecca Ferguson at [2.10] in Girls' Market - OPEN.
£80 BACK Mary Byrne at [4.10] in Top 3 Market - OPEN.

£20 BACK FYD at [34.0] in Outright Market - LOST.
£10 BACK Katie Waissel at [6.6] in Third Elimination Market - LOST.
£10 BACK Cher Lloyd at [60.0] in Third Elimination Market - LOST.
£20 BACK Belle Amie at [30.0] in Outright Market - LOST.
£50 BACK Belle Amie at [2.98] in 6th Elimination Market - WON.
£20 BACK Treyc at [7.80] in 6th Elimination Market - LOST.
£20 BACK Katie at [10.0] in 6th Elimination Market - LOST.
£30 BACK Katie at [4.0] in 7th Elimination Market - LOST.
£20 BACK Treyc at [3.5] in 7th Elimination Market - WON.
£30 BACK Paije at [2.04] in Paije v Treyc Head-to-Head Market - WON.
£70 BACK Aiden Grimshaw at [11.0] in Outright Market - LOST.
£50 BACK Aiden Grimshaw at [6.6] in Outright Market - LOST.
£30 BACK Katie at [2.0] in 9th Elimination Market - LOST.
£10 BACK Cher at [95.0] in 9th Elimination Market - LOST.

£70 LAY Wagner at [1.70] in Bottom Three Market - Week 3 - VOID.

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