X-Factor / Jack Houghton / 11 December 2010 /

Jack Houghton is full of conspiracy theories today as the show draws to a close but irrespective of political interventions and new voting policies, Matt Cardle should be crowned 2010 X-Factor winner nonetheless.

For two years they've clashed over the X-Factor. In 2008, Mike Norman prevailed. In 2009, Jack Houghton made it honours even. Norman's claims of foul-play last year sparked a brawl at the betting.betfair Christmas party. To avoid a repeat performance, the editors have decided to formalise things this year. Each armed with a £1,000 and their We-Love-You-Simon badges, Mike Norman and Jack Houghton go head-to-head - tipping their way to a Christmas number one."

* * *

And so, as the omnipotent music mogul of time manipulates another public-phone-vote of fate, and the award-winning tipster of eternity throws his virtual betting slip into the dustbin of destiny, I notice it's the end of the show.

Yes folks, the X Factor is about to tuck itself up and begin its annual hibernation. Worry not: your Saturday-night-misery will only be temporary; in a short nine months the show will poke its little nose out of its snow-hole and we'll be starting afresh.

And next year, hopefully, the landscape upon which the X Factor emerges will be more democratic. Because I must say, it's testament to my unparalleled ability to predict the public mood that, despite being conned out of at least three significant pay-outs as a result of questionable judging decisions, I still hold pole position in this so-far-not-very-competitive betting competition.

Take last week. If reports are to be believed, the decision to allow the judges a role in deciding the final line-up was only taken after Saturday's show. The expectation was that, as in previous years, a public vote would be the sole determiner of the final line-up. Louis Walsh had said as much in a radio interview earlier in the week; a statement on the X Factor website seemed to confirm it; and O'Leary implied the same on-air. If the public had been allowed to decide, Mary would have progressed, and I would have collected on yet another profitable bet.

The show's apparent volte face is easy to explain though. For three years I have frustrated Cowbell and his production team by consistently predicting what will happen on each show, as if the contestants, presenters and judges were merely following a script I had previously prepared them. This year they'd clearly had enough. Guest judges were invited; more finalists brought in; multiple eliminations randomly inserted - in a desperate attempt to dull my prognostic power, anything was tried.

Unfortunately for them, although they've managed to inflict the odd wound, the betting bank still looks amazingly healthy and, assuming they have no tricks left to pull, it will look even healthier when Matt Cardle - tipped up at [5.1] in week one, and topped up a week later - wins the show this weekend.

Here's how I see things playing out. Cher - desperately lucky to have progressed this far - will leave first. As will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas says, "Cher is like running with apples and oranges. It's like apples and coffee beans. It ain't even the same thing. You can make apple juice with apples but there is only one thing you can do with a coffee bean: make coffee."

I agree completely. Next to go will be Rebecca. At this point, in a desperate attempt to stop Cardle winning, the show will announce a new single transferable vote policy, whereby all the votes cast for Cher and Rebecca will be re-apportioned to the remaining acts on a five-to-one basis in favour of One Direction. It's only fair, there are five of them.

At this point, Ofcom will inquire how the terms of a public vote can be changed with such gay abandon. They will likely use the term "gay abandon". Then the Office of Fair Trading will launch an investigation into the seemingly closed-shop relationship between production, management and record companies. Next, the Competition Commission will ponder the relationship between the show and a certain music download site, marvelling at the coincidence of a Beatle-themed week a few days after the Fab Four's back-catalogue is released digitally.

Midway through Sunday's show, in an attempt to restore order and placate at least five students, the Prime Minister will begin lobbying show executives to ensure a One Direction win, before a final anonymous backroom decision announces that the now Russian-backed Matt Cardle is in fact the show's 2010 champion.

That's why I'm sticking everything I've got on Cardle. Gamu aside, he's been the standout talent from the start, and justice will finally prevail. So that's £630.20 on Matt to win at [1.84].

Betting bank running total = £630.20.

This week's recommendations:
£630.20 BACK Matt Cardle at [1.84] in Outright Market.
Previous recommendations:
£70 BACK Matt Cardle at [5.1] in Outright Market - OPEN.
£50 BACK Matt Cardle at [5.4] in Outright Market - OPEN.
£50 BACK Rebecca Ferguson at [2.10] in Girls' Market - OPEN.

£20 BACK FYD at [34.0] in Outright Market - LOST.
£10 BACK Katie Waissel at [6.6] in Third Elimination Market - LOST.
£10 BACK Cher Lloyd at [60.0] in Third Elimination Market - LOST.
£20 BACK Belle Amie at [30.0] in Outright Market - LOST.
£50 BACK Belle Amie at [2.98] in 6th Elimination Market - WON.
£20 BACK Treyc at [7.80] in 6th Elimination Market - LOST.
£20 BACK Katie at [10.0] in 6th Elimination Market - LOST.
£30 BACK Katie at [4.0] in 7th Elimination Market - LOST.
£20 BACK Treyc at [3.5] in 7th Elimination Market - WON.
£30 BACK Paije at [2.04] in Paije v Treyc Head-to-Head Market - WON.
£70 BACK Aiden Grimshaw at [11.0] in Outright Market - LOST.
£50 BACK Aiden Grimshaw at [6.6] in Outright Market - LOST.
£30 BACK Katie at [2.0] in 9th Elimination Market - LOST.
£10 BACK Cher at [95.0] in 9th Elimination Market - LOST.
£100 BACK Cher at [4.9] in 10th Elimination Market - LOST.
£100 BACK Katie at [2.5] in 10th Elimination Market - WON.
£30 BACK Cher Lloyd at [2.6] in 12th Elimination Market - LOST.
£80 BACK Mary Byrne at [4.10] in Top 3 Market - LOST.
£30 BACK Cheryl Cole at [7.0] in First Mentor Eliminated Market - LOST.

£70 LAY Wagner at [1.70] in Bottom Three Market - Week 3 - VOID.

'.$sign_up['title'].'

'; } } ?>

:

:

:

?

: