X-Factor / Jack Houghton / 04 December 2010 / 3

Jack Houghton thinks we could witness the end of the Cher Lloyd rollercoaster - here's why

For two years they've clashed over the X-Factor. In 2008, Mike Norman prevailed. In 2009, Jack Houghton made it honours even. Norman's claims of foul-play last year sparked a brawl at the betting.betfair Christmas party. To avoid a repeat performance, the editors have decided to formalise things this year. Each armed with a £1,000 and their We-Love-You-Simon badges, Mike Norman and Jack Houghton go head-to-head - tipping their way to a Christmas number one."


The X Factor is in turmoil. According to the Daily Star, Matt Cardle failed to sing at a mid-week gig because of a bad throat; Mary Byrne sang, but complained of a bad throat afterwards; and Zain Malik (the one who can't dance in One Direction), has had to return home to attend to a "family health issue".

What happens if none of them make Saturday's show? Well, One Direction will likely survive. Until now, only Liam and Harry have actually sung anything. True, Zain occasionally comes in with the odd "woo-woo" at opportune moments, but other than that, they're a two-man band. All that Niall and Louis bring to the band, as far as I can tell, is floppy hair, good-looks, and an ability to stare at the camera in a way that excites 14-year-old girls. If only it could stare in the right direction and pout, the Dulux dog could make the final three.

As for Matt and Mary, they'll have to sing. Show producers might have put throat-infected my-Diana Vickers through on a bye a couple of years' back, but that was in week five, not at the semi-final stage. Surely they couldn't do the same this year?

So I'm going to take a punt. I'm having £30 on Cher Lloyd going in the 12th Elimination market at [2.6].

Here's the scenario. Matt, who is apparently closest to recovery, sings and gets through. One Direction perform (I would say "sing", but I like to be accurate) and, getting a boost from some Zain sob-story they will spin, sail through. Arthritis-riddled Mary, unable to sing, withdraws from the show, croaks about what a great time she's had, and goes off to front-up an ad campaign selling clothes for the larger lady.

Effectively, that leaves the 12th Elimination market as a toss-up between Cher and Rebecca and, although I struggle to see Rebecca winning the show outright, she's surely got enough game to outlast Cher?

Let's hope so. Because except for a strangely compelling performance of Stay in week four, Cher has been dreadful - pedalling ill-conceived mash-ups as her own original work; when they have in fact been rip-offs of others'. At least that's what this video on YouTube reckons.

And it's not been a great week for the snarling Lloyd (does anyone else think she looks a bit like Dennis the Menace's dog, Gnasher?). She ran off stage during the same mid-week concert Matt had to miss, and reportedly couldn't be persuaded to leave the house to attend a film-premiere of Narnia.

Poor old Gnasher, she's not cut out for this show-business game. And even if she does make it through this week, she'll surely be first to get the boot in the four-person final next Saturday.

Yes folks, it's almost over for another year. All that remains is for me to tie-up yet another profitable series, and we'll be done.

Betting bank running total = £660.20.

This week's recommendations:
£30 BACK Cher Lloyd at [2.6] in 12th Elimination Market.

Previous recommendations:
£70 BACK Matt Cardle at [5.1] in Outright Market - OPEN.
£30 BACK Cheryl Cole at [7.0] in First Mentor Eliminated Market - OPEN.
£50 BACK Matt Cardle at [5.4] in Outright Market - OPEN.
£50 BACK Rebecca Ferguson at [2.10] in Girls' Market - OPEN.
£80 BACK Mary Byrne at [4.10] in Top 3 Market - OPEN.

£20 BACK FYD at [34.0] in Outright Market - LOST.
£10 BACK Katie Waissel at [6.6] in Third Elimination Market - LOST.
£10 BACK Cher Lloyd at [60.0] in Third Elimination Market - LOST.
£20 BACK Belle Amie at [30.0] in Outright Market - LOST.
£50 BACK Belle Amie at [2.98] in 6th Elimination Market - WON.
£20 BACK Treyc at [7.80] in 6th Elimination Market - LOST.
£20 BACK Katie at [10.0] in 6th Elimination Market - LOST.
£30 BACK Katie at [4.0] in 7th Elimination Market - LOST.
£20 BACK Treyc at [3.5] in 7th Elimination Market - WON.
£30 BACK Paije at [2.04] in Paije v Treyc Head-to-Head Market - WON.
£70 BACK Aiden Grimshaw at [11.0] in Outright Market - LOST.
£50 BACK Aiden Grimshaw at [6.6] in Outright Market - LOST.
£30 BACK Katie at [2.0] in 9th Elimination Market - LOST.
£10 BACK Cher at [95.0] in 9th Elimination Market - LOST.
£100 BACK Cher at [4.9] in 10th Elimination Market - LOST.
£100 BACK Katie at [2.5] in 10th Elimination Market - WON.

£70 LAY Wagner at [1.70] in Bottom Three Market - Week 3 - VOID.

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(3)

1. Adam | 05 December 2010

   Least we know who Cher is, who are you again? Some freak with Ginger hair no doubt thank god people like Cher can provide us with entertainment.

2. Doogie | 05 December 2010

   OK - so I backed Cher at 8.5 with a tonne close to market open. Apart from my interest in her progressing, I actually think it could be a Cher shocker and she'll win it. Your logical conclusion unfortunately fails to recognize the X in xfactor.

3. dan | 05 December 2010

   even if cher does go which i doubt, shes the only one your gonna hear about this time next year.shes current fresh and the kids i work with love her because they relate to her , the buzz around her is like no other year she`s the only one with the real x factor you only have to watch her on stage she owns it.matt sounds like a david gray reject sounds dated. mary sounds like a good pub singer..rebbecca very likeable with a unique big voice but more for the adult market...one direction cute but no vocal talent hence they always have a backing track because they cant sing they will have a career just for the fact young girls fancy them. who`s jack houghton

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