Dancing On Ice Betting: Time's up for cougar queen Denise

Dancing On Ice / Eliot Pollak / 02 February 2011 / 1

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De time has come for Denise

"Welch was spotted by the nation’s press smearing her mouth all over her ice partner, before dragging stammering Gareth Gates into a cab – presumably doing so before he could manage to spit out that he wasn’t interested at all. "

The Loose Women star was a little too loose with dance partner Gareth Gates and the time has come to bid farewell, says Eliot Pollak

As the people of Egypt vigorously wrestle with the concept of democracy, our brave D on I competitors are struggling to get to grips with its impact. One man you certainly won't find on the streets of Cairo demanding power to the people is Dominic Cork - voted off the show last weekend, and now unleashing his wrath on poor old Baby Spice. He even went as far as saying that she has no qualifications to be an ice-skating judge. Dom - calm down mate. It's a television programme. Nobody. Actually. Cares.

Whilst Cork may have lost faith in the people, Denise Welch will be feeling relieved to have survived the skate-off. The Loose Women star lived up to her name this week, when she went off loose womanising. Welch was spotted by the nation's press smearing her mouth all over her ice partner, before dragging stammering Gareth Gates into a cab - presumably doing so before he could manage to spit out that he wasn't interested at all. The bad news for poor Gareth, is that his cougar could have plenty more time on her hands in future weeks - she is [2.92] favourite to be out this weekend. Lock the Gates, Gatesy!!!

Elsewhere, Jennifer Metcalfe wowed scientists by bouncing back from injury in time to slide around an ice rink. Fans of the biblical story of Lazarus will love that (Google it kids. And whilst you're at it, consider the impact of such secularism on the long-term morality of our wider society.) Conclusion from all this - she may have bagged the New Testament vote (Google that too kids if necessary.) Metcalfe is available at [5.7] to finish as top female, and is available to Google any time you fancy.

So to the men. According to judge Jason Gardiner, there is something "endearing" about 'Comedy Dave'. The truth is 'Endearing Dave' doesn't promise the same quality of laughs, although some would say it is a slightly greater reflection of the truth. Whatever his name may be, he is still a lengthy [18.5] to finish as top male, partly due to the dominance of Sam Attwater, now as short as [1.56] to win the whole shebang.

He would be wise to keep an eye on Chloe Madeley ([13.5]) and Laura Hamilton ([6.8]) though - they're still in the running, although may not quite have the high profile status demanded by voters.

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Steve | 03 February 2011

This article is total nonsense. Especially re JM. Doubt whether the person who wrote this crap watches the show.