Dancing on Ice 2011: Our verdict on the final three

Dancing On Ice / Eliot Pollak / 24 March 2011 / 1

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Can season-long favourite Sam Attwater justify his position at the top of the market?

"At one stage, the boy Attwater was so hot, even the sun was jealous."

It's a three-way battle as Dancing On Ice reaches its cool crescendo - but who is the pick of the odds? Let Eliot Pollak take you by the hand and skate through the final three contenders

Nothing says beer, takeaway and some comfy clothes more than the final of a big reality television competition. Except perhaps, Paul Gascoigne pitching up at the scene of a man-hunt. Nevertheless, in the absence of the genial Geordie, a night in-front of the telly is the best we can do.

Here is your guide as to who will win Dancing on Ice 2011

Sam Attwater ([2.0])
At one stage, the boy Attwater was so hot, even the sun was jealous. But his grasp on the big prize has slipped slightly of late, and he has drifted steadily for weeks, out from his zenith of [1.44].

Yet there are plenty of good omens for him. Fans of pretty patterns might be interested to know that the winning genders from the previous five series read like a dinner party seating plan - girl, boy, girl, boy, girl... as the only male left, it's in the bag for Attwater. He is also very much the form man, having been absolutely spectacular in last week's solo dance.

One final thing in the big dog's favour is that Justin Beiber - the closest thing to a deity we have - has decreed his desire for Attwater to win. Should Beiber's hysterical minions find the time to stop screaming and ghosting his dance moves, they may pick up the phone on their God's behalf. Because lets face it, he is unlikely to bother himself.

Laura Hamilton ([2.5])
There is precedent for a large upset in this show. A couple of years ago, it was supposed to be in the bag for Chris Fountain - the best ice skater from the start - but he lost out on the big night to Suzanne Shaw. Whoooooo? So an upset is not entirely out of the question.

In truth, Hamilton would make for a worthy winner. She's a graceful ice dancer, a judge's favourite, and will serve as perfect lads-mag fodder for many years to come. She has also had 'a journey' - so beloved by viewers of this sort of tripe.

Chloe Madeley ([9.6])
Madeley, although in the skate-off at the weekend, has the potential lethal combination of bulldog spirit and famous parents. In addition, first-time voters may be swayed by her Balboa pluckiness next to Hamilton's robotic grace. An outsider to win, but by no means an impossibility.

So there you have it. Place your money, slip on some pyjamas, and get the pizzas in. For what its worth, judge Jason Gardiner has rather pointlessly described the final as, "very neck-and-neck." Tosser.

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fallingRock | 26 March 2011

"...and will serve as perfect lads-mag fodder for many years to come." I presume you meant to say that about Chloe & Not Laura otherwise it is as incorrect as your predictions will be shown to be as Laura will win.
And to add to the inaccuracies, it was Laura Bieber is backing, not Sam.
Other than that, not to mention your tasteless "tosser" comment, it was a good piece...