I'm stepping up to the Wednesday punting oche with seven darts in my hand, so You're Fired at 17.5 is probably an apt selection in the Hunt Cup at 17:00.
If it all goes wrong...
Hopefully, it won't as Karl Burke's lightly-raced 4yo has excellent credentials. He dotted up on fast ground at Ripon from subsequent winner Dubai Dynamo, and I went away thinking he should have followed up off a 7lb higher mark at York last time, where his rider could have got busier earlier.
But that narrow second there in a fast time was another step forward, and I don't think the subsequent 3lb rise will stop him winning more handicaps.
And the form of that York race is very strong, with several of those in behind coming out and either winning or running big races in defeat.
For example, Fort Bastion and Loving Spirit won next time, and the likes of Abseil, Gabrial and Ascription - I could name plenty more - all improved in defeat on their following runs.
He should run a big race but I am going in two-handed here as I think Lanceur is too big at 50.049/1.
It is some ask to be winning this race after being raised 8lb for a win over 1m2f at Chelmsford last time, following a spell hurdling - hardly the ideal profile for the Ten Year Trends boys, I'd have thought - but I was quite impressed with that all-weather success and he was a winning miler when trained on the Flat in France. At a massive price, he is getting a few quid of my money, anyway.
Everyone connected with the Hannon yard have been bigging up Ivawood in the Jersey at 14:30, and everything about the dual Guineas third's run-style suggests that the step down to 7f will suit.
But he has the maximum 5lb penalty to carry here and he is rank bad value at odds of 2.6413/8 to these eyes, and I am still trying to work out how Bossy Guest is available at 10.09/1.
Here are the facts from their Guineas run: Bossy Guest met trouble in-running and still finished only ½ length behind Ivawood at Newmarket, and is now 5lb better off.
Yes, I am struggling with the prices, too. It makes simply no sense, and the only logical conclusion is that the gushing column inches the Hannon camp are afforded are rather more than Mick Channon's.
Going into the Guineas, there was a big stamina doubt about Bossy Guest, as all his previous form had been over 6f/7f, including a Newmarket win over 6f on his reappearance.
He clearly got the trip very well in the Classic but he obviously doesn't lack the pace for this step back in trip, and he is simply the wrong price. His draw in one isn't ideal, but he can track Ivawood in four, and hopefully take him late on.
I will probably place-lay Ivawood at around 1.42/5 and back three of four in here - if you can't go all in at Royal Ascot, then grow a pair - and the other short-listed horses included Fadhayyil, Hathal and Mister Universe.
But price is everything, so Mister Universe at 34.033/1 is my other recommendation on the race.
I like battle-hardened handicappers in these types of races, and horses with proven Ascot form. And he has exactly that, having won over track and trip off a mark of 95 last month.
I have actually been a little disappointed by his last two runs, however respectable, but it could be that he wasn't suited by the tracks at either Goodwood and Epsom.
Of course, he needs to improve around 7-10lb to win this - the stable's Rainfall did when winning this race in 2010 - but I don't think you can over-estimate the importance of proven track form here and he could make a bold bid down the middle.
Integral is said to be the Sir Michael Stoute-Ryan Moore banker of the week and it is hard to see past her in the Duke Of Cambridge Stakes at 15:40.
She does carry a 5lb penalty for her victory in the Sun Chariot in October, but she ran an encouraging first race of the season when fourth in the Lockinge, and this would have been the early season plan.
Back in among her own sex and stepping down to Group 2 company, I don't see her getting beaten here. I personally don't tend to tip or bet at these prices - and I won't here - but odds of around 2.1211/10 are fair if you do. She does carry maximum stable confidence, from what I have been hearing.
The Queen Mary at 15:05 is a very tricky race and as much as I like the front three in the market, none appeals as a bet at the prices.
Incidentally, if you are wondering why Acapulco is so short after finishing a well-beaten third of six at odds-on on her only start to date, read this from Wesley Ward, who worked the filly on grass after disappointing on the Churchill dirt:
"By far and away the best work I ever had of any horse I ever trained on the grass. It was a sight to see. A couple of Coolmore boys were out to watch the work themselves. It was a phenomenal work.
"Since then, all her works have been lights out. If she runs anything like she's breezed there's no way anything I ever had would beat her."
As bet-inducing as those comments appear, they don't tempt me in, and I am going to chuck a few quid at my old mate Silk Bow at 34.033/1, with a back-to-lay angle thrown in.
I tipped her when she was second to today's rival Delizia at York last time and she travelled like a dream for much of the race.
It takes a leap of faith to see her winning this on that form - and maybe even turning reversing places with the winner - but we are dealing with unexposed youngsters here who are improving all the time and I can see this strong traveller giving us a good run for our money.
I'll be sticking in an-running lay at 5.14/1 to cover my stake.
The Prince of Wales Stakes at 16:20 is another really difficult race to get a handle on.
Regular readers of my ante-post column will know that I just missed the 20-1 about Cannock Chase for this race, and I will be mumbling a few expletives if he wins. He is now 8.88/1 and I can't get involved at the current odds.
Don't get me wrong, this horse has always been held in the highest regard by the yard and I fully expect 1m2f on fast ground around here will see him post a career-best. But he has 15lb to find with The Grey Gatsby on official figures, and that gives you an idea of the measure of his task.
At the prices, I can't resist a punt on Spielberg at 12.011/1.
On form alone, this Japanese horse is no double-digit poke in this, as his Group 1 Tenno Sho win from Gentildonna, and his subsequent Japan Cup third, puts him firmly in the mix here.
I wouldn't be the biggest Japanese form expert but it was reassuring to hear Ryan Moore make positive noises about the horse in a RUK interview last Friday night - he finished one place behind the horse in the Japan Cup - when he also explained that Kazuo Fujiawa is the champion trainer in Japan and 'wouldn't be coming here on a social'.
And, I'll be honest, I am happy to see Christophe Soumillon on board and not his regular pilot.
Everyone has been talking up Always Smile in the Sandringham at 17:35 and as a result she trades as the 3.953/1 favourite. Which looks ridiculously short to me, however attractive her profile.
I am going to give Muffri' Ha one more chance at odds of 22.021/1.
She held Group 1 entries at the start of the season and clearly hasn't progressed as William Haggas would have liked.
But I think that you can ignore her last run at Goodwood, when she was too free in the early stages and got badly hampered coming around the bend, and at least the handicapper has dropped her 1lb for it. Believe in master-placer William Haggas.
Back Bossy Guest at 10.09/1 and Mister Universe at 34.033/1 in the 14:30
Back Silk Bow at 34.033/1 in the 15:05; place an in-running lay to cover stake at 5.14/1
Back Spielberg at 12.011/1 in the 16:20
Back You're Fired at 17.5 and Lanceur at 50.049/1 in the 17:00
Back Muffri' Ha at 22.021/1 in the 17:35