Breeders' Cup 2012: Friday - an armchair fan's guide

Things change. There was a time when, every year, just after the clocks went back, I would fly off to America for a holiday centred on a visit to the Breeders' Cup. In fact, it was watching Johannesburg win the Juvenile in 2001 at Belmont Park that started this whole writing thing.

Now, though, the transatlantic trips are much less frequent, and Invasor's victory in the Classic in 2006 was the last Breeders' Cup race that I saw in the flesh. But although a part of me misses those annual sojourns, there seems something almost more enjoyable about hunkering down at home and watching the whole thing on telly: after all, it was what I did in my youth. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

So here it is: my armchair fan's guide to the Breeders' Cup. You could, if you want, go and read what the Timeform analystas have to say, but if you're after nonsensical, reckless, jingoist punting advice - the kind of advice I dispensed in my youth, then stick with me.

Friday - Breeders' Cup Marathon
Tonight's opener - the Marathon - will be disappointing to some. The yanks use the term "marathon" in the same way my primary school did; which slightly exaggerated the stamina requirements of a sports' day perimeter run of the school grounds. So those expecting to see a two-hour affair - interspersed with Paula Radcliffe stopping for a poo before courageously giving up - will be disappointed.

Fame And Glory should win it. Sure, he's been rubbish this year, but mark my words: that has been down to the ground. On a new surface, with a first-time visor, this one-time Derby favourite will give this bunch of show-nothings an absolute spanking at around 5.309/2.

Friday - Breeders' Cup Juvenile Fillies Turf
Europe will win this, obviously. Our fillies are better and, come to think of it, so is our turf. That leaves five to choose from, the best of which is Waterway Run, who has posted the best speed figures of anything in the race. Lump on at 14.013/1.

Friday - Breeders' Cup Juvenile Fillies Dirt
Despite Europe's fillies being better, the yanks clearly have the advantage when it comes to dirt, as Europe can't even muster an entry in this one. Despite not having seen any of these horses run, and knowing very little about their form, I can confidently declare that Executiveprivilege is severely underpriced and that Beholder will cause a minor upset at around 9.008/1

Friday - Breeders' Cup Filly and Mare Turf
I can't make out even a semblance of sense from the form of the horses in this race. Now, whilst that doesn't usually stop me betting on American racing, I'm usually drunk when I do so. Writing this at 7am, I'm not currently drunk, and so recommend no bet. That's not to say I won't be drunk by the time of the race. At which point I will probably have developed a very strong opinion about Marketing Mix.

Friday - Breeders' Cup Ladies' Classic
See notes for the previous race. My just-opening-a-second-bottle-of-Barolo recommended bet is My Miss Aurelia.