The odds compilers make Scotland to win Euro 2020, Jeremy Corbyn for prime minister and Beyonce for US president more likely than San Marino beating England tonight says Max Liu...
"Who will succeed Joe Biden as US president? You can get 150/1 on Beyonce taking the White House in 2024 and that's also rated more likely than the away side taking three points tonight."
San Marino are 250/1 to win their World Cup qualifier against England which means there is more chance of Scotland winning this summer's Euros than Gareth Southgate's men losing at Wembley tonight.
Our match previewer recommends you go big on goals in the betting but it would be a shock if the visitors were to get one (although readers of a certain vintage will remember Stuart Pearce's under-hit backpass to David Seaman in a 1993 qualifier.
Both teams to score is 11/2 but scorelines of 6-0, 7-0 and 8-0 are all 5/1.
San Marino have never won a competitive match and haven't scored in their last eight.
Scotland are 200/1 to win Euro 2020 - with England as 5/1 joint favourites - but to get a sense of the unlikelihood of a San Marino victory tonight, here are some of outcomes that the markets rate more likely.
He may have lead Labour to their worst election defeat for over seventy years in 2019 but Jeremy Corbyn is 100/1 to be Britain's next prime minister.
No former leader has ever returned to lead a UK party to victory. Then again there's never really been a leader like Jezza before and the chances of him succeeding Boris Johnson in 10 Downing Street are more than twice that of a San Marino win tonight.
Who will succeed Joe Biden as US president? You can get 150/1 on Beyonce winning the White House in 2024 and that's also rated more likely than the away side taking three points tonight.
The megastar singer has achieved just about everything else that America can offer so you never know. She's also got a better grasp of formation than San Marino's part-timers on the football field, although if you think they have any chance at all you'll be crazy in love with the odds.
Then there's the UK's miserable record at the Eurovision Song Contest where we haven't had a winner since 1997.
The contest returns this May - following last year's cancellation - and the UK is 100/1 even though our entrant James Newman says his song's a banger.
Whatever you think of Newman's 'Embers', he's more likely to bring Eurovision home this spring than European football's minnows are to pull off an upset tonight.
Betfair spokesperson Sam Rosbottom said: "San Marino beating England tonight would be one of, if not the biggest, ever upset in world football.
"The underdogs have only managed to score three goals in five years, so even conceding a goal tonight will be disappointing for Gareth Southgate, but with both teams to score at 11/2 an unlikely San Marino consolation goal isn't out of the question."