The Rude Name XI
Dan Fitch picks a double-entendre heavy rude name XI.
It's neither big nor clever to laugh at people with slightly rude sounding names, but it is nevertheless quite funny.
We've put together a team of football players with names so rude, that they would truly be a commentator's nightmare. Here is our rude name XI.
Goalkeeper - Quim
The beauty of the name of the Portugal international Quim, is that he shares his moniker with a swear word that flies under a lot of people's radar. Therefore you can never quite tell if the commentators are in on the gag or not. Here is a video tribute to the Braga keeper:
Right Back - Francisco 'Chiqui' Arce
As if having 'Arce' as a surname isn't bad enough, the former Paraguay right back prefaced it with the nickname 'Chiqui', to show true commitment to having a rude name.
Left Back - Rod Fanni
As a former transfer target of Newcastle, the Rennes full back Rod Fanni probably isn't aware of how close he came to complete ridicule, had he moved to the area of the UK, that gave the world Viz.
Centre Back - Rafael Scheidt
Celtic fans will tell you that a player has never been more appropriately named than Rafael Scheidt. A lot was expected of the Brazilian international when he was signed for £5m, but Scheidt left Celtic after playing just three games.
Centre Back - Argelico Fucks
Partnering Scheidt in central defence, is Argelico Fucks. Another Brazilian, Fucks was made famous when his name appeared in the following legendary internet headline, after his move from Palmeiras to Benfica.
Defensive Midfield - Albert Nad
Albert Nad was capped 45 times for Serbia and Montenegro. It almost goes without saying that he possessed great ball control.
Midfield - Wayne Wanklin
Unlike the rest of the team, who all hail from non-English speaking countries, poor old Wayne Wanklin of Reading had to endure a lifetime of sniggering about his name, while all the time knowing just why everyone was laughing.
Winger - Cha Bum-Kun
Cha Bum-Kun was a South Korean legend with 55 goals in 121 caps. To us though, he is best remembered as being one letter 'm' away from rude name immortality. Here are his best bits:
Winger - Brian Pinas
Unlike Rod Fanni, the naïve youngster Brian Pinas made the mistake of joining Newcastle United and was greeted by the following editorial in The Sun: "Pity soccer star Brian Pinas. The first time a referee takes his name he'll get sent off for using foul language."
Striker - Ralf Minge
Minge is a former East Germany international who spent his entire career sith Dynamo Dresden. Now he coaches the Germany Under-20 side and runs an amusingly named sports consultancy business.
Striker - Stefan Kuntz
Commentators tend to play license with the pronunciation of rude foreign names, but there was little flexibility when it came to Stefan Kuntz. Witness John Motson expressing a nation's feelings about Germany.
Published: 7 Oct 2010
gordon sundog (October 7, 2010 10:18 AM) said:
Presumably, they'd all play for Deportivo Wanka in an ideal world.