The 50 Most Stupid Footballer Quotes

Dan Fitch has compiled the definitive list of the most stupid things ever said by footballers.

"Intelligence doesn't make you a good footballer. Oxford and Cambridge would have the best sides if that were true. It's a football brain that matters and that doesn't usually go with an academic brain. In fact I prefer it when it doesn't. I prefer players not to be too good or clever at other things. It means they concentrate on football." - Bill Nicholson

We imagine that Bill Nicholson was generally in luck when it came to finding football players who weren't too clever at other things. Though there are exceptions, most footballers are more likely to be members at their local lap dancing club than Mensa.

It's no surprise then that when they find themselves thrust into a world of media interviews, that they sometimes struggle to express themselves as they intend. Here are the 50 most stupid footballer quotes.

50. My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7. - David Beckham

49. We must have had 99 per cent of the match. It was the other three per cent that cost us. - Ruud Gullit

48. I was a young lad when I was growing up. - David O'Leary

47. If we played like that every week we wouldn't be so inconsistent. - Bryan Robson

46. The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukranians will be more European. - Phil Neville

45. We're in football to play in big games. And games don't come any bigger than the semi-final of the Cup at Hampden. - John Collins

44. I spent four indifferent years at Goodison, but they were great years. - Martin Hodge

43. I've always been a childhood Liverpool fan, even when I was a kid. - Harry Kewell

42. Steve Hodge has been unfit for two weeks, well, no, for 14 days. - Bobby Robson

41. They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that. - Kevin Keegan

40. I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier. - Ugo Ehiogh

39. I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. - Stuart Pearce

38. He's had three offside decisions. Two right, two wrong. - Chris Kamara

37. I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing. - Ade Akinbiyi

36. It was like deja vu all over again. - Shaka Hislop

35. I would have given my right arm to be a pianist. - Bobby Robson

34. When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1. - Lawrie McMenemy

33. This has been our Achilles heel that has been stabbing us in the back all season. - David O'Leary

32. I'm 30 now, but back when I was 19... that's seven years ago. - Lee Bowyer

31. What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio. - Gerry Francis

30. A contract on a piece of paper, saying you want to leave, is like a piece of paper saying you want to leave. - John Hollins

29. Everything's been really positive and smooth. Apart from, obviously, the season. - David Beckham

28. I've had an interest in racing all my life. Or longer really. - Kevin Keegan

27. Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match. - Ian Wright

26. Of the nine red cards this season we probably deserved half of them. - Arsene Wenger

25. I'm not that bloke Mystic Meg. - Rio Ferdinand

24. I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well. - Alan Shearer

23. I played cricket for my local village. It was 40 overs per side, and the team that had the most runs won. It was that sort of football. - Bobby Robson

22. Any manager will tell you that they would rather win one and lose two than to draw three, because you get more points. - Les Ferdinand

21. If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing.- Terry Venables

20. Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough. - Jonathan Woodgate

19. I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different. - Kevin Keegan

18. He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa. - Ronnie Whelan

17. I never make predictions, and I never will. - Paul Gascoigne

16. Gary Neville is the club captain but he has been injured for the best part of a year now - and Giggsy's taken up the mantlepiece. - Rio Ferdinand

15. It's when Paul Scholes isn't playing that United miss him. - Arthur Albiston

14. We didn't underestimate them but they were a lot better than we thought. - Bobby Robson

13. Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today. - Steve Lomas

12. Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had. - David Beckham

11. We're in pole position in second place. - David Healy

10. Well, Clive, it's all about the two M's - movement and positioning. - Ron Atkinson

9. I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable. - Paul Gascoigne

8. Nothing surprises me in football but if I said I was astounded that would be an understatement. - Ray Wilkins

7. I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league. - Mark Viduka

6. I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock. - Barry Venison

5. I've only got two words for how we played out there tonight - Not good enough. - Bobby Robson

4. I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona. - Mark Draper

3. I don't believe in superstitions. I just do certain things because I'm scared in case something will happen if I don't do them. - Michael Owen

2. I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

1. I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country. - Ian Rush

Published: 25 Feb 2011

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