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The 15 Most Insane Commercials Featuring Sports Stars
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Dan Fitch /
14 January 2009 /
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In order to further line their pockets, athletes are willing to put up with almost any indignity, including making commercials.
Some, like Michael Jordan, get to star in star in commercials boasting huge budgets, which are shot by top filmmakers. Others are forced to slum it, as they star in rather less glamorous commercials than those dreamed up by Nike's marketing men.
In tribute to these mercenaries, here are the 15 most insane commercials featuring sports stars.
15. Pete Rose - Aqua Vela
Pete Rose of the Cincinnati Reds enjoyed a glittering baseball career in which he picked up three World Series rings, three batting titles, one Most Valuable Player Award, two Gold Gloves, the Rookie of the Year Award, and made 17 All-Star appearances.
At one point Rose was the highest paid athlete in team sports. Therefore you can only assume that it was Rose's well documented gambling problems, which lead him to say 'yes' when offered this commercial by Aqua Vela, even though it required him to sing.
14. Boston Celtics - Scotch 'n Sirloin
So you're offered a chance to make a few bucks shooting a cheesy commercial for a small restaurant. The whole team is in on it, so the embarrassment will be shared and it's only going out on local TV. It'll be forgotten about in no time at all.
Unfortunately for the Boston Celtics, the internet was invented. Check out Larry Bird's purple shirt.
13. Kevin Keegan and Henry Cooper - Brut
The award for the most homoerotic commercial, goes to this towel-flicking effort from the good people at Brut, featuring the British boxing legend Henry Cooper and the two-time European Footballer of the Year, Kevin Keegan.
12. Jonathan Papelbon - 125auto.com
Just because you're a gifted athlete, doesn't mean that you can act. This is proved conclusively by Jonathan Papelbon, pitcher for the Boston Red Sox and a member of their 2007 World Series Team, in a series of commercials made for a New England car dealership.
11. Jonathan Ogden - Gebco Insurance
Men who are 6ft 9" tall are rarely good dancers. So it must have been with some perverse pleasure, that this local insurance company hired the Baltimore Ravens' offensive tackle Jonathan Ogden for their commercial.
Ogden is so out of time with the female dancers it's unreal, but he seems to be enjoying himself.
10. Bronson Arroyo - Champion Dealer Group
The Cincinnati Reds starting pitcher Bronson Arroyo makes it onto this list, purely and simply because he's the only person that I've ever heard use the word 'shit' in a TV commercial.
Well done that man.
9. Joe Namath - Noxema
The former New York Jets quarterback Joe Namath made several commercials during the 1970s, including one that saw him dress up in pantyhose.
Joe makes the list however, for his commercial for Noxema shaving cream, in which he co-stars alongside a then unknown Farrah Fawcett. This commercial was selected primarily for the reason that of all the commercials Namath appeared in, this is the one in which he most sounds like a Pennsylvanian hick.
8. John McEnroe - PETA
John McEnroe stars in a public information commercial on behalf on PETA, in which he implores people to have their dog neutered.
Well at least he didn't get naked.
7. Joe Frazier - Muriel Cigars
Former heavyweight champ Joe Frazier teams up with the Tony Award winning Broadway star, Edie Adams in a bizarre commercial for a cigar company.
The weird thing about this commercial is the way it cuts between Adams to Smokin' Joe and his mother, before cutting back to Adams again. It has strange the effect of making it seem as if two commercials have been spliced together.
6. Max Talbot - A & L Motor Sales
The Penguins Hockey star Maxime 'Max' Talbot, recently leant his talents to a commercial for a Pittsburgh auto dealership.
This one makes it onto the list for being the commercial that most seems like it's going to descend into a porn movie.
"Hey Alex, superstar treatment again for me!"
5. Larry Bird - American Heart Association
Larry Bird may have been a good enough player to have been mentioned in the same sentence as Michael Jordan, but he somehow lacked the charisma of his rival when on camera.
There are scores of painful Larry Bird commercials on the internet, but it the disturbing stare of the doctor gets this particular one a place on our list.
"Doctor who?"
4. Yoggi Berra - Stove Top Stuffing
Sports stars of yesteryear didn't earn anywhere near the huge salaries that today's stars can command.
Perhaps if he'd played in the modern era, the New York Yankees legend Yogi Berra wouldn't be reduced to spending his dotage making commercials for microwave stuffing.
3. Willie Shoemaker & Kareem Abdul Jabbar - NASA
When NASA were looking for someone to promote their space exploration programmes, who else would they look to but the jockey Willie Shoemaker and the LA Lakers' Kareem Abdul Jabbar?
Sad as it may seem, the world is more interested in athletes than scientists.
2. Andre the Giant - Honeycomb cereal
Imagine you're a kid, sat in your tree-house and innocently sharing some breakfast cereal with some buddies (one of which is a robot). What could be more terrifying than the former WWF star Andre the Giant gate-crashing the party? Especially when to quote the Giant, he's: "Hungry for a big honey taste!"
Luckily, upon getting his hands on the cereal, Andre is content to dance around with the kids, whilst they sing their annoyingly catchy song.
1. William Perry - The Fridge BBQ Sauce
Topping our list is William 'The Refrigerator' Perry. 'The Fridge' was famed for his generous appetite, so it came as little surprise when he choose to turn his hobby into a career and launched his own BBQ sauce.
This commercial for the sauce looks as if it's been made in a couple of hours, by someone with access to iMovie. The budget clearly didn't stretch to on-location shooting, so the actors are superimposed upon exotic backdrops. The best of these is the guy who is surfing whilst wearing a soccer shirt. He later turns up again at the end of the commercial, looking drunk.
"This sauce is good!"
