X-Factor / Jack Houghton / 29 October 2009 / Leave a comment

Arrogance outweighs talent with Danyl and Jack Houghton will be opposing him in the X Factor odds until he's voted off

"Danyl, to the surprise of all, found himself alongside Miss Frank in the sing-off last week. But should we have been so surprised? Every year a supposed favourite is jocked-off earlier than expected – think Laura last year – and Danyl, imbued with an arrogance that grossly overrates his ability, is a stronger candidate for elimination than most."

I knew a moustache once. It was an organism entirely of its own powering. It spent the winter months attached to a French ski instructor called Claude. I guess it summered somewhere on the Riviera, but it never said. Didn't say much really. Clearly though, the relationship with Claude was mutually beneficial. Moustache got to spend the winter months feeling the frosty alpine air whistling through its bristled hair; Claude was given a certain French authenticity, without which his instructor job would be at risk. It's what management-types call a win-win situation.

The same cannot be said for the enormous tongue currently housed in Danyl's cake-hole. Have you seen it? It's gigantic: bigger than an eat-this-and-the-meal-is-free-rump served in some restaurants. It surely has its own entire nervous system - if not its own dressing room. It's too big not to. And I can see why Tongue and Danyl struck up the relationship. For one, the chance to demonstrate its warbling ways on national television; for the other, a point of interest in an otherwise unlikeable and featureless make up. Unlike Moustache and Claude though, this relationship is benefitting neither party. It comes down to simple maths:

BIG TONGUE + BIG PLONKER = BOTTOM TWO

So it was that Danyl, to the surprise of all, found himself alongside Miss Frank in the sing-off last week. But should we have been so surprised? Every year a supposed favourite is jocked-off earlier than expected - think Laura last year - and Danyl, imbued with an arrogance that grossly overrates his ability, is a stronger candidate for elimination than most.

Guessing exactly when he goes might be tricky though. Instead, it's probably smarter to oppose him in the Top 3 market. So I'm laying him for a maximum four points at [2.02], under the assumption he has to go at some point in the next few weeks.

Beyond that, it's hard to see any value in the markets. Rock week could see most contestants struggling, but then it's hard to tell how much an individual performance - as opposed to fan loyalty carried over from early in the show - affects voting. So those lumping on the likes of Lloyd and Rachel to go might be better advised to take it easy this week. Strange things are afoot in Voterville; patience is what's required.

In other news, Joseph apparently bopped Lucie on the nose with a tambourine during a rehearsal for last Sunday's group performance. At least I think it was a tambourine. One report said "tangerine", which, I've found, as far as percussive instruments go, lacks a certain timbre. Exact choice of weapon aside though, the upshot was lots of make-up required to cover the extensive bruising for I'm-just-an-innocent-girl-from-a-small-village-in-Wales-I-can't-believe-what-is-happening-to-me Lucie.

Stage-school Joseph was, apparently, "devastated". Yeah, whatever Joe. You know as well as any that this ain't show friends, it's show business; and if it takes the odd citrus-strike to the face of your rivals to win, then so be it.

And Friedman's been at it again: this time suggesting the second twin peak of Saturday night viewing - Strictly Come Dancing - needs to glitz itself up if it is to compete with X factor. Give me strength. This man won't be happy until we're all heading off to work wearing leather posing pouches, accompanying chaps, sequinned waist-coats, and matching roller-skates. He has to be stopped. Grapefruit at the ready Joe; it's time to take that Yankie dancing queen down a peg or two.

This week's recommendations:
4 pts LAY Danyl at [2.02] in Top 3 market.

Already Recommended:
1 pt BACK Dannii at [2.48] in Winning Judge market.
1 pt BACK Cheryl at [8.0] in Winning Judge market.
1 pt BACK Joseph at [12.0] in Winner market.
1 pt BACK Lloyd at [25.0] in Winner market.
1 pt BACK Olly at [3.4] in Over 25s market.
1 pt BACK Olly at [8.2] in Winner market.

Already Settled (+0.4 pts):
2 pts BACK Rachel at [2.7] in Bottom Two market - Week Two - WON.
3 pts BACK Rachel at [1.76] in Bottom Two market - Week Three - LOST.

Tags: Danyl, Joseph, Lucie, X Factor