X-Factor / Jack Houghton / 14 November 2009 /

Jack Houghton's finding the X Factor waters tricky to navigate especially with that Pirate Cowbell floating around, but those twins are worth chancing to hit the elimination stage once more

Demos kratos - power to the people.

In a world of miscreant chads undermining a Florida Presidential vote; a world of ballot stuffing and voter intimidation in Afghanistan; a world of government-orchestrated murders and flimsy power-sharing agreements in Zimbabwe; a world where Gordon Brown gets to be Prime Minister, without being publically elected to the post; in this world devoid of light and divest of hope stands Cowbell: a beacon to pure, stripped-down democracy.

Bush, Karzai, Mugabe, Brown. These are the people who should be shuffling around, heads bowed in embarrassment at their lack of legitimacy, not Cowbell. Last Sunday he did something very simple: he gave power back to the people. Direct democracy in action. When he sent Jones and Jedward into DEADLOCK (DUN-DUN) there were no omnipotent, meddling fingers to ensure the right result; just people on a stage singing; and people at home raising their arms in support. Those toga-wearing, philosophising Greek chaps from times-gone-by would have cried at the beautiful simplicity of it all. The democracy they invented; returned to its rightful ascendancy.

And anyway, what would happen to the bloke who has to make the DUN-DUN sound, were Dermot not able to send the contest to DEADLOCK? He'd be out of a job.

So Lucie's gone - boo-hoo. We'll all forget her: just like we forgot Laura, Voices With Soul, The Conway Sisters, and the long-list of other hopefuls so cruelly and surprisingly rejected by popular vote. Okay, maybe not The Conway Sisters.

Lloyd is unhappy though. Lucie was his best friend in the house and he feels lost without her. He's been struggling to sleep - so much so his mum has reportedly sent his own duvet and pillow to the house so he can wrap himself up like a "sausage roll". Could he be any more wet?

In other news, Sting has branded X Factor "preposterous". Steady on there tantric-man. Have you looked in the mirror at that beard you have been wielding of late? Until you get a proper name and buy a razor, I'm not sure you're in any position to be issuing such sacrilegious statements.

Cosmo magazine have made Stretched-face Minogue their media personality of the year for 2009 - presumably for exuding the same type of charisma that led Nigel Mansell to two Sports Personality of the Year Awards. Susan Boyle is to appear on the show singing her new song, Wild Horses - presumably a tribute to her mother and father. And Brian May and Roger Taylor have also agreed to appear on the show as part of this week's Queen-themed event. Dear old Freddie Mercury is no doubt turning in his grave at the prospect - to a position, nonetheless, in which he seemed happy in life.

Lucie's exit dented the portfolio last week, but did provide a "winning" bet for Mike Norman - from one of 378 tips he has put up so far this year. But no matter. We are still looking strong for a profitable series and a poor showing from John and Edward can consolidate our position. I'm having one point on at [2.0] to see them in the bottom two again.

I would be lumping on, but democracy - it turns out - can be a fickle arbiter of talent. If Olly or Joseph are in the bottom two I'm moving to Zimbabwe (or worst still, Florida) but, as for the others, it's hard to pick. Lloyd is clearly more popular than his talent deserves. The same is true of Stacey. The voting public seems to detest Jamie less than they should, and Danyl has engineered an image turn-around that could keep him safe a while longer. But one of these four will be in the bottom two with Jedward and, at that point, who knows who will go? DUN-DUN.

This week's recommendations:
1pt BACK John and Edward at [2.0] in Bottom Two market - Week Six.

Already Recommended:
4 pts LAY Danyl at [2.02] in Top 3 market.
1 pt BACK Dannii at [2.48] in Winning Judge market.
1 pt BACK Cheryl at [8.0] in Winning Judge market.
1 pt BACK Joseph at [12.0] in Winner market.
1 pt BACK Lloyd at [25.0] in Winner market.
1 pt BACK Olly at [3.4] in Over 25s market.
1 pt BACK Olly at [8.2] in Winner market.

Already Settled (-1.6 pts):
2 pts BACK Rachel at [2.7] in Bottom Two market - Week Two - WON.
3 pts BACK Rachel at [1.76] in Bottom Two market - Week Three - LOST.
2 pts BACK Lucie at [2.10] in Girls market - LOST.

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