Betfair Official Blog

 

I'm a Non-entity Get Me Out of Here

Click here to view market

'I'm a Celebrity' is back in the jungle with its usual eclectic mix of desperados who weren't content with just their allotted '15 minutes' the first time around. Betting analysts Chichendinner take you through the runners and riders...

Monday sees the start of ITV's latest check on the depths to which has-beens will sink to feel the spotlight on their pancaked faces again, however fleetingly. The field, as far as anyone can tell, seems to be split into two...

Survivors

Jason 'J' Brown, 31. Spent the years 1997-2001 on the roster of generic chart band 5ive. Fortunately for him, the kind of dull, unenquiring mind required to endure the drudgery of being in a silly group could stand him in good stead, and if he has just half an ounce of personality the others will pray for him to stay around.

Lynne Franks, 59. Former PR big noise, so demented that she would probably consider a fortnight lying naked in a ditch to be an empowering feminist experience. However, the show loves an earth mother, especially if she can just steer her craziness towards amusing and away from scary.

Christopher Biggins, 58. Porridge, Rentaghost, endless panto, Biggins has endured far greater indignities than a couple of weeks in a forest, and could be this year's Gest; everyone expects some ridiculous Widow Twanky, giving him a golden opportunity to prove them wrong.

Gemma Atkinson, 23. Used to be in Hollyoaks. Also known for her dalliance with Christian Ronaldo and her enormous breasts. Will probably be expected to take a number of showers.

Cerys Matthews, 38. Singer with temporarily interesting band Catatonia, a project which went off the rails when she ran into difficulties with the drinking and emotional sides of rock stardom. Feels like she might have the right mixture of tough and likeable to do well.

Richard Fairbrass, 54. Turning a one-off novelty hit into a profession shows a formidable urge to survive, and "amusing gay guy" is an excellent vote winning profile.


Leaf Mould

Anna Ryder Richardson, 43. You may know her, (but more likely don't) from the pushy and intrusive home deco show Changing Rooms. An ability to identify the correct shade of white for a north facing bedroom is of scant use in a rain forest, as are the skills acquired from years of squabbling with shrieking design types.

John Burton Race, 50. Who? Indeed. John is a Michelin-starred chef and philanderer. Even amongst nonentities, chef Race has nowhere near the required level of celebrity to win the thing.

Janice Dickinson, 52. Bossy, bitchy, and so utterly unbalanced that anyone daring to set foot in her centre of attention is likely to be physically assaulted. Capable of terrifying every last creature in the jungle, but deprived of her "supplements", her low boredom threshold will be her undoing.

Mark Bannerman, 34. Was Gianni on Eastenders, is now no one.

Katie Hopkins, 31. The dreadful self-opinionated snob from The Apprentice who voted herself off and was then caught having sex in a field. Hard to imagine her making a single friend in all of Australia, let alone amongst the I'm a Celebrity camp.

Koo Stark, 51. Former erotic actress and royal concubine, since being flattened by Prince Andrew her life has been something of a mystery. Impossible to know what to expect.

Rodney Marsh, 63. Squandered his talent as a top class footballer, squandered his cushy pundit position on Sky by making a crass joke about the tsunami, and it's only a matter of time before he repeats the pattern in the jungle.

Malcolm McLaren, 61. Former Sex Pistols manager and general opportunist, it's hard to see exactly what angle Mr McLaren is playing here, unless he just can't resist a captive audience to harangue. In normal circumstances he would be one of the leaders in the group, but jungle life will not be to his liking.

Services

Radio icon Radio      Live Video icon Live Video

Benefits and offers

£25 FREE SPORTS BET

Bet £25 on any event and get £25 back absolutely free, win or lose!

Go button

$600 POKER BONUS

Exclusive $600 bonus for all new players. Just join and play to claim.

Go button

£50 CASINO BONUS

100% deposit bonus up to £50 for all new casino players. Just join and play to claim.

Go button

Refer and Earn

Earn substantial rewards every time you introduce someone new to Betfair

Go button