I'd Do Anything / Editor / 24 May 2008 / 1 Comments

Paul Sorene on the ninth elimination of the Nancy-search-a-thon

We will get to Niahm in a moment, but first let's consider Jodie.

Jodie is from Blackpool, Lancashire.

Jodie moves with marginally less menace than Andrew Lloyd's Webber's pointy fingers.

But, as we say, Jodie is from Blackpool.

Jodie is an average singer.

But Jodie is from Blackpool.

Jodie sings with her eyes. Jodie smiles at all times and commands her eyes to sparkle. Jodie's smiley eyes should be warm and alluring, but they are wearing and suggest either a mind working overtime to maintain an upbeat mood, or a mind not working at all.

Jodie is from Blackpool.

Jodie is [4.1] third favourite to be Nancy. That puts her ahead of the more attractive, more tuneful, more graceful Rachel.

Rachel is from Ireland, the same place that gives us Jessie ([3.3] second fav.) and Niamh (gone).

The Irish vote is thus split three ways. Around 4.3 million people live in the Iris Republic. And about 1.7 million live in Northern Ireland.

Around 1.3million people live in Lancashire, England. Around 50 million people live in England.
Do you get the picture?

But, say you, Samantha hails from the Isle of Man, home to around 80,000 souls and she's the show's favourite, at [2.24]. Indeed.

But Sam is favourite because:

a) Sam is talented

b) Other then watching telly, the next most exciting thing to do on the Isle of Man is to hang around the island's one public phone box and vote for Sam.

c) Sam is the most famous person to have come out of the Isle of Man since Mark Cavendish (sprint cyclist), Illiam Dhone (led an uprising against English rule over the island and was executed in 1663) and Nigel Kneale (seminal science fiction and horror screenwriter). At least that's according to Wikipedia, the online encyclopaedia which renames Samantha Marks "Samantha Barks".

Andrew Lloyd Webber must be praying that talented Samantha wins, or, indeed, that anyone beats Jodie.

But that queasy feeling says otherwise. The feeling is that votes on TV talent shows are decided by regional voters being loyal to their locale.

And Jodie is from the English mainland. The very real threat is that Jodie will win.

You may recall Leon, the squinty-eyed X Factor 2007 winner. Leon was Scottish, and very may still be. The Scots voted for him. And Leon won. Leon has not been heard of since.
Jodie is Leon.

And Niamh? Well, had only she conjured up a Scouse brother, or moved to Blackpool, she'd have done better...

Tags: I'd Do Anything, Jodie, Samantha