Dancing On Ice / Chicken Dinner / 10 March 2008 / Leave a comment

Will the public vote with their hearts for the contestant who went on a journey or their heads for the best skater? Chicken Dinner take a look...

The only certainty about modern reality shows, ever since the damn phone line scandal, is that absolutely nothing is certain. Brian was supposed to lose Big Brother to the dim-witted twit twins, the fat Scottish one was NOT supposed to triumph in the appalling Hijack version of the show. And the biggest shocker of them all was when Leon, the boy from Scotland with a trembling lip and enormous confidence problems, defied all the odds to beat off Rhydian - operatic egomaniac - in the X Factor. Even I'm a Celebrity was too tight to call between Biggins and Dickinson right up until the end.

Hence, some unexpected drama could yet lurk beneath the surface of the Dancing on Ice skating rink. Since day one, Chris Fountain ([1.33] to win on Betfair) has been by far the most accomplished celebrity giving the ice a bash, but in recent weeks his over-eagerness to prance around like a great big nelly has been, at times, genuinely difficult to watch.

Compared to the determined-but-humble reality winners like Alesha Dixon (Strictly Come Dancing) and Kyran Bracken (last year's winner), he resembles something of a smug little prat. Certainly those who vote on shows like Big Brother have been known to form a circle of hatred towards people who get a little too big for their boots (Ziggy, last year; Grace, year before), so his "Christ, even I didn't expect to be THIS brilliant" demeanor could count against him. Plus, he's up against two girls, and one of the cardinal reality rules is that the majority gender of the last three always wins.

The thinking man's money should, then, go on Suzanne Shaw [4.5]. With the judges now worthless beyond soaking the finalists in gushing praise and moments of revolting self-congratulation, Zaraah Abrahams [28.0] surely can't make any kind of dent. She has been in the bottom two for four weeks in a row, meaning that the public have not warmed to her, so she must go first. There just isn't anyone there to save her. Plus she has gone on record insisting that she would peel her top off and unleash her boobs for a photo shoot if she went on to win. Those are the words of a woman destined to stay tops-on. Even she knows.

But the real trooper has been Shaw. Week on week, she has danced through broken bones and icy face plants, maintaining a steely grin that suggests that, in hindsight, love-rat Darren Day might have been right to walk away insisting that he "doesn't do family". She is an absolutely terrifying woman, strangely reminiscent of the original Terminator, just grinding on every time she looks down and out.

That said, whooping females and put-upon mums watching will be going berserk for Shaw, aka Celebrity Mum of the Year, and she may yet join Alesha Dixon (Strictly Come Dancing) as another scorned woman who won her pride back on a TV show - up yours, bloody men! Much depends on whether viewers are voting with their hearts for the contestant who went on a journey (Shaw), or with their heads for the best skater (Fountain). With the phone lines less appealing after the controversy, a hunch suggests that those willing to call in will vote for the skater with the most memorable story. Suzanne it is, then.

Tags: Chris Fountain, Dancing on Ice Betting, Dancing on Ice Odds, Suzanne Shaw