Dancing On Ice / Chicken Dinner / 11 February 2008 / Leave a comment

Chickendinner have got bad news for Greg and his fellow 'oldies'...

Some would argue that without Holly Willoughby's much-discussed cleavage - now a weekly staple of Dancing on Ice - the show would be enjoying record lows of Celebrity Big Brother proportions. How long before they employ a breast-cam for people with the red button? Still, as usual there's money to be made, and two of the skaters are worth keeping a very big eye on - Gareth Gates [4.5 to win on Betfair] and Zaraah Abrahams [13.0].

Linda Lusardi [75.0], Steve Backley [100.0] and Greg Rusedski [100.0] have all had their day, with little recognisable improvement. Congratulations to Backley for being the first contestant ever to survive three appearances in the skate-off, but barring a week where the required moves include "going topless, throwing the javelin or having a mouth so big you could eat a melon like it was an apple", all are on borrowed time, and should be out within a month. No one wants to see mediocre ice skating - they want bloodied fingers, mangled noses, painful falls - or, of course, brilliant performances. Next to go really should be one of the big men.

At the top end lurk Chris Fountain [1.65] and Suzanne Shaw [7.0]. Fountain is far too good not to make the final - he's probably the best skater the show has seen, and anyone not totally in awe of his moves should have a good long think about what the hell is wrong with them. He's marvellous. And yet unlikeable in an over-achieving kind of way

Another one moving further from the circle of likeability is Suzanne Shaw. Her determined, Rambo streak makes her reminiscent of Bonnie Langford (third, series one), and perversely makes it harder for her to win. The weekend teatime demographic seems uncomfortable with the sight of determined women, just ask Gabby Logan (Strictly Come Dancing) or her wife, Kenny.

And so, the real heroes could be the former Pop Idol and the soap actress. Gareth Gates still appears to have a massive fanbase - the "crowd" goes berserk whenever he takes to the ice, and he seems sweeter and more humble than Fountain. The younger teenagers and nans should prefer him. Remember, this is a manchild who managed to steamroller a pregnant Jordan and still come up smelling of roses. Plus Clare Buckfield outdanced Kyran Bracken in last year's "Ice" final, but still failed to win it.

In the latter stages, it becomes less about skating and more about charisma. Gates wins on charisma.

And as for Abrahams, who is smiley, pretty and improving week by week, she has more grace than Shaw, and there haven't yet been any rumours about her making all the other girls feel frightened and alone (the tabloids have marked Shaw's card as a BITCH). Should Zaraah continue to get better and better, Fountain might start getting the jitterbugs.

So as things stand, Rusedski, Lusardi and Backley will be next to go. Fountain/Gates will battle for the winning spot.

Tags: Dancin On Ice, Greg Rusedski, Linda Lusardi, Steve Backley