Celebrity Big Brother / Dan Fitch / 16 January 2009 /

Tina Malone will surely be out the door tonight - she's [1.15] to get the boot after all.

Another day in the Big Brother house and the toy task was still rumbling on. By this stage Coolio and Tommy had completely given up on their task and remained in bed upon receiving their first cue to enter the car wash.

The sight of Sheridan lazing around and scrounging off the other housemates, will do nothing to dispel some of the myths surrounding socialism. When the Scot finally got out of bed, he wandered around the kitchen singing 'The Socialist ABC'. Give it a rest son. If they had wanted Billy Bragg, they'd have hired him. Tommy is [120.0] to win.

Elsewhere, Tina and Terry were discussing whether the video of them ballet dancing would get more hits than Verne and Ulrika singing. Tina reasoned that as she and Terry were both on Channel 4, they would get more hits. Newsflash! Tina: nobody watches Shameless since you joined the cast and The Word was cancelled in 1995 due to poor ratings. Terry is still popular with our punters though, as he is now just [5.3] to win.

One of the producers had obviously seen the film Big over Christmas, as Mutya and La Toya were given a task where they had to jump on the keys off a giant piano to play a tune. If they had wanted to save money, they could have just got Verne to jump on the keys of a normal sized piano.

Speaking of Verne jumping, having failed his task with Michelle, they were looking for other ways to occupy themselves. It was decided that Verne would jump off a box and that Michelle would catch him. Before he jumped, Verne revealed that he weighs 35 lbs, or to put it another way, the total weight of Kentucky Fried Chicken that I plan to consume this weekend.

As the Big Brother lawyers gnawed at their fingernails as they considered potential lawsuits, Michelle caught Verne successfully and then twirled him around like a baby, in celebration. Cutie Pie Verne is now the [1.73] favourite, with Steak and Kidney Pie Michelle at [75.0].

Quite understandably, Ben was wondering why he'd been made to wear a giant dinosaur costume for the best part of two days. He was eventually told that his task was to scare one of the housemates. Of course, to achieve this, he could have just sung, but instead he chose to hide in the bedroom and wait for his prey.

Eventually Ulrika entered the room and Ben jumped out and roared at her. I wouldn't say that Ulrika looked scared exactly, rather than mildly surprised, but that may just be the Botox.

Speaking of which, Ulrika had earlier been telling Mutya and Tina that the best way of getting plastic surgery done, was to sell the story to a magazine and get them to pay for it. I have to say Ulrika, that in your case it looks like The Exchange & Mart have scrimped on the costs.

Ulrika passed her task, which required her to dress up as a Native American and fire arrows at a target. I'm not sure which one of her former lovers was the face that she imagined to be on the target, but it was a tactic that was undeniably successful. Ulrika is now [38.0] to win.

Tina and La Toya also passed their task, as did Ben. However, as Coolio and Tommy, Verne and Michelle, and Tina and Terry all failed, the task was failed as a whole. Still, there should be a lot less food to go round when Tina gets evicted tonight.

She is now just [1.15] to go, with Michelle having drifted to [16.5]. Michelle claimed that she thought that the issue with Coolio had been resolved. The rapper certainly had his quietest show of this series and is now [27.0] to win.

The house now seems to be divided by sex, with the boys forming one clique and the girls another. Only Ben has a foot in both camps, like a little boy who wants to grow up to be a big strong man, but who still gets taken into the ladies toilet by his mum.

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