No bark, no bite, just a jive-talking Napoleon and a bitchy bag of bones

Big Brother 11 / Feizal Rahman / 21 July 2008 / Leave a Comment

The absence of Bulldogs in the house reflects a lack of spirit in the nation. And things will only get worse if entertainers continue to be punished, says Feizal Rahman.

A week of tedium in the house was left unremedied neither by Big Brother instigating a reasonably interesting shopping task, nor the eviction of batty Belinda (x3).

The French-based task was admittedly a demanding one for housemates, but typifying an attitude so prevalent in this country today, they had accepted defeat before even trying. Instead of knuckling down, accepting the challenge and giving it a right good go, they apathetically went through the motions and then had the gall to complain when the inevitable result was called. Where has the bulldog spirit gone in this once all-conquering nation?!

Then, in a manner we have become accustomed to with Big Brother evictions, one of the few characters in the house was kicked out, leaving us with an overwhelmingly boring collection of people to pry on. Granted, newcomer Belinda (x3) was up against the established alpha-male persona of Rex, so defeat at [1.1] was a foregone conclusion. But why is it that with Big Brother, we champion those who offer us nothing but the mind-numbing hum-drum and punish those who actually seek to entertain?

Viewers were already made to suffer this week in the absence of Mario's genius one-liners, left instead to cringe at the puppet show performance of the puerile Rebecca and the increasingly bitchy bag of bones, Luke. With little else to fill the hour-long highlight shows, Big Brother producers are evidently trying to coax as much as possible out of this pathetic pair and pass it off as highly-amusing antics to cheer the nation. Sadly, they're probably succeeding. Incredulously, Luke is now down to [5.9] to win, with Rebecca around [65.0] - the porcine-faced one, however, 2nd favourite to go next week at [3.0].

Immediate favourite to be the 6th evictee is gluttonous oaf, Mohamed. More and more resembling a sloth as each day passes, the only signs of life with the afro-headed oxygen thief are when he's stuffing his face with the food rations and annoying other housemates with his irritating mannerisms. The biggest price of anyone left in the house, Mo is [150.0] to win and [2.7] to be voted out next Friday. Even one-time ally Rex has disowned him, leaving Slo-Mo looking at an extensive list of potential votes come the nominations.

Empowered by his eviction survival, Rex ([16.0] to win) struggles to hide the fact that he's really rather pleased to remain in the game with such apparent support from the public. All week he had been saying that he wanted to go but wouldn't walk, which may beg the question; why exactly did he sign up for the show in the first place? Apparently, he claims, it was to 'find' himself. So while others go travelling to spiritually-enhancing places in the Far East and South America to fulfil their rites of passage, rich-boy Rex heads off to a converted TV studio in Borehamwood. No doubt as there's less chance of him getting lost.

Elsewhere, elected 'Head of House' Darnell - who was given the no-win dilemma of dividing the group into 'Heaven' and 'Hell' - set himself up for an inglorious fall by trotting around the house as some sort of jive-talking Napoleon. A mindless outburst where he ordered ditzy Sara to make him a plate of food, only to metaphorically throw it back in her face, went down like the storming of the Bastille and will surely alienate numerous viewers. Out to [9.0] to win, Darnell should be able to recover and allow his truer, warm-hearted side to overcome this week's minor blip, even if it means surviving an eviction for which he is currently [5.4] to go.

The reinvigorated Dale continues to come in for support - now down to [7.4] to win - while Stuart has also shortened to [21.0] having shown a vulnerable side that is sure to earn even greater appeal from female fans, following a teary diary room moment where he spoke of his wish to be reunited with his little daughter. Meanwhile, the warm and fuzzy Kathreya remains overall favourite to win at [3.2], though the signs are that several members of the group are keen to get rid of her. The same applies to perennial fence-sitter Rachel, who at [29.0] is never going to win. But how long she can stay on the fence is solely down to how well she avoids being pushed off by the others.

Quote(s) Of The Week:

Rex: "How can you ever achieve anything in your life if you don't go one way or the other... you will always be a plain-sailing person. You will never, ever become really rich or really exciting, you'll never really be anything... you're always going to stay average."

Rachel: "But you know what, Rex? I'll always be happy and that's all I care about."

Rex and Rachel elevate Big Brother conversation levels to a new cerebral plain, leaving us to ponder; when the lights go out, is it really better to burn out than fade away?