Big Brother 11 / Feizal Rahman / 11 June 2008 /

The nation's favourite freak show is back and, now as much a tradition as chilled Pimms, astronomically-priced strawberries and soggy barbecues, summer would not be the same without the car-crash entertainment that is Big Brother.

Big Brother hit the ground running on launch night by instigating an immediate task involving the first four housemates to enter - Mario and Lisa (BB's debut couple), Luke and Stephanie. Mario and Stephanie were to pretend to be the real couple and avoid suspicion from all other housemates, aided by the other two.

Cheesier than a stuffed crust quattro formaggio dipped in a cheddar fondue, Mario (real name Shaun) was visibly more excited than bottle-blond scouser Stephanie, who was understandably nervous about being paired with a greasy Sly Stallone lookalike over twice her age within minutes of her BB dream being fulfilled.

Playing Luigi to Shaun's Mario was Luke, a rare cross-breed of half Arctic Monkey, half George Formby. Instantly standing out as a candidate for this year's court jester, the 20-year-old part-time wrestling promoter was eager to play along with the task, as - in fairness to her - was Lisa, who, with shoulders broader than the English Channel, would be better suited to a role on Gladiators.

Doomed from the start, the task failed in the aftermath of a faux-wedding that was somehow supposed to convince the other housemates of true love, and consequently all four conspirators were put up for eviction. Having displayed signs of brattishness in dealing with the charade, Stephanie was thrown straight in as favourite to be the first evicted and currently trades at [1.6] . Mario, reasonably collected under pressure, hovers around [3.4], with Lisa sitting more comfortably at [9.4] and Luke safely plucking away at his banjo at [40.0].

A typically eclectic mix, the rest of the house are - with no hint of irony - a reflective sample of the populous. Countering the warm, bubbly personality of Welsh girl Rachel is the chilling ghetto attitude of Alexandra, and trying to top trump disabilities with the blind Scot Michael is the African-American albino Darnell from Ipswich. Michael was initially made favourite to win upon entering the house but little did viewers know what awaited them moments later in the cosmic ball of fun that is Kathreya.

Akin to a pesky Mogwai, mere sunlight is not enough to shut this one up. More worrying is the likelihood of the diminutive Gremlin being exposed to water and fed after midnight causing more of the little blighters to pop up. Nevertheless, the cookie-devouring Thai masseuse is [4.4] favourite to exit the house victorious, pushing Michael into second place at [7.2] and Rachel third at [8.4.]

Booed before she'd even entered the house, single mum Alexandra has called 'shotgun' on the 'figure of hate' role, revealing herself to be a nasty, foul-mouthed antagonist. Teaming up with Sierra Leone-born Sylvia, Alexandra launched a scathing attack on Mikey after his unwitting prank involving Sylvia's underwear. Bound to alienate fellow contestants and the viewing public, Alexandra is a top-priced [220.0] to win and can count herself lucky she was able to evade nomination this week.

The rest of the clan have yet to unmask themselves, which is usually a shrewd move in the first few weeks. Requisite camp guy Dennis, [50.0] to win, seems carbon-copied from previous years, while pretty boy Dale, [15.0] to win, reminds me of BB6 winner Anthony and is sure to gain the all-important female viewer support. The others will hopefully have a story to tell in due course but in the meantime, we wait to see what ingenious skulduggery is in store for our soon to be 15 housemates.

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