Big Brother 11 / Mike Norman / 10 June 2008 /

Big Brother is back, and boy is it back with a bang!

The first four housemates barely had time to say, "It's a blur" to each other before being summoned to the Diary Room. They looked like a perfect family - the tanned dad, the surgically enhanced wife, the spoilt daughter, and the geeky son. In real name terms it was Mario, Lisa, Stephanie and Luke that were given news of their secret task.

Now let's get one thing straight, a task has a sole purpose - to cause rivalry. It might appear fun, challenging, even exciting, but along the way friction will be caused, bonds will be formed, and there will be more bitching than at a Pat Butcher/Peggy Windsor ear-bashing. From a betting perspective it's vitally important that we know how the tasks go. Keeping an eye on who is bitching, who is bonding and who generally just want to knock ten gallons of crap out of each other is like being on a march alongside someone with a leg amputated - you'll always be one step ahead. So without further ado, let's get cracking!

Mario, Lisa, Stephanie and Luke had to keep secret the fact that Mario and Lisa are in a real relationship, and instead convince the other housemates that it was Mario and Steph who are a real couple. Mario is 42, Steph is 19 - it makes you bloody sick doesn't it?

Other housemates began to suspect something wasn't quite right almost as soon as they arrived, thanks to some 'Prisoner Cell Block H' style acting from the missionites. The 'D' Team (Darnell, Denis and Dale) were more suspicious than most, "Do you even think they're a couple", asked Dale - "No" was the prompt reply from both Darnell and Denis. Was the task over before it had even begun?

Well to make things look more realistic/unrealistic (you decide) Big Brother got Mario to propose to Steph, to which she reluctantly agreed. BB then announced that there would be a marriage on Sunday, much to the delight of Kathreya, the Thai massage therapist who resembles one of those toy bunny rabbits on Duracell batteries. Emotion got the better of her and she couldn't hold back the tears - though how much of it was down to the proposed wedding, or the fact that the buffet might have some cookies, was unknown.

Steph was beginning to crack, accusing Mario of being on a secret mission within a secret mission - come on love, this is Big Brother not the bloody SAS! Regardless of her doubts, she agreed to give the wedding the go ahead and chose Lisa, Kathreya, Rebecca and Rachel to be her bridesmaids. A lovely hen night was had by all.

Quite the opposite was true of Mario's stag party, but let's face it, a party that included five housemates (Darnell, Denis and Dale were now joined by Slyvia and Alexandra) that thought the whole thing was a sham was never going to go down well. The girls refused to wear their full bunny rabbit outfits (note: boring), so it was left to blind Michael to announce that he, Denis and Dale would don the clothing. The night ended with Denis giving Mario a soap wash, and Michael wearing one of Sylvia's thongs. Alexandra and Sylvia joined forces in telling Michael that they had lost all respect for him - and here's me thinking girls letting blind drunks into their knickers was a regular occurrence these days!

The wedding went ahead despite the entire house now realising it was a fake and it wasn't long before the housemates had to guess the real couple. They got it right of course - Lisa and Mario were exposed as being the real lovers, and they, along with Luke and Steph will now face a public vote to see who is evicted.

It all means that Steph, who was unimpressive, bitchy and annoying in her role, is now the red hot favourite at [1.66] to be the first evicted (read here later in the week for a full eviction preview), ahead of Mario ([3.35]), Lisa ([5.1]) and Luke ([25.0]). If she survives, it's hard to see Steph ever getting on well with Mario or Lisa, while it might be worth asking how many other housemates will forgive her deceit, despite it being just a task.

Friendships have definitely emerged between Darnell, Dale and Denis and it's hard to see them nominating each other in the coming weeks - they can be backed at [14.0], [14.0] and [48.0] respectively to win outright. Rex ([17.0]) and Mohamed ([19.5]) were rarely seen during the task, but it's often a good ploy to not get involved too much during the first few weeks. From the girls, it's Kathreya at [4.9] and Rachel at [8.6] that have emerged as front runners to win.

The last word has to go to Michael ([7.8] to win outright) who claimed that the task had a bit of success attached to it. Yes Michael, it was about as successful as a man being credited with swimming the English Channel just because his corpse was washed up on the beach!

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