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Deep-fried Mars bars, pineapples as official symbols and the chances of Scotland winning by 36.5 points

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Betting experts Chicken Dinner looks at the chances Scotland have of beating Romania by different margins

Like pineapple farming and wineries, Scotland doesn't really do thrashing, preferring to beat whoever they encounter on the rugby field in a more genteel style, or more likely, lose. So the idea that they might be about to put up a lot of points against anyone is guaranteed to raise a Caledonian eyebrow. Nonetheless, the handicap on Scotland's encounter with Romania at Murrayfield on Tuesday is a dizzying 36.5 points.

Some might say pineapples and wineries are more likely to become a common feature of the Scottish landscape long before Scotland routinely run over opponents by such a huge margin. But if Hawaiian fruit is out of the question, what sort of changes to Scottish life would be most in keeping with Scotland's ability to thrash Romania?

Scottish event: Deep-fried Mars bars are served at a Michelin-starred restaurant.
Likelihood: Inevitable. If it hasn't already happened, some publicity-seeking culinary egomaniac is already seeking the appropriate batter and translating it into French.
Scottish rugby equivalent: Beating Romania by at least 2 points, the margin by which they fell over medium-sized minnows Fiji in the last World Cup.

Scottish event: Victory over England - at cricket.
Likelihood: Imminent: Only the fact they rarely meet is preventing this new low for England.
Scottish rugby equivalent: Beating Romania by at least 10 points, the margin of victory in their only Six Nations win this year, vs Ireland.

Scottish event: Ayr turns into Rio! Global warming turns dreich Scottish beaches into the envy of the sunbathing world.
Likelihood: Will happen. Just not soon enough.
Scottish rugby equivalent: Beating Romania by at least 33 points, their best ever score against England.

Scottish event: Rosyth Cathedral vanishes! Souvenir-seeking Da Vinci Code fanatics plunder the site for so many tiny keepsakes that the whole building is carried away.
Likelihood: Not beyond the realms of possibility.
Scottish rugby equivalent: Beating Romania by at least 42 points, their biggest ever margin of victory against them.

Scottish event: Snow returns to the highland skiing industry! Before too long, Scottish snow will only fall at an altitude for which Scotland doesn't actually possess any mountains high enough. Back off, greenhouse gases!
Likelihood: A very long shot, as things stand.
Scottish rugby equivalent: Scoring at least 56 points, Scotland's score against the amateurs of Portugal in game one.

Scottish event: Celtic and Rangers agree it would be better for everyone if they received fewer points for a win than other SPL teams.
Likelihood: A lovely idea, but their legendary generosity will never stretch this far.
Scottish rugby equivalent: Scoring at least 100 points, the biggest ever Scottish win - vs Japan in 2004.

Scottish event: The pineapple becomes the official symbol of Scotland.
Likelihood: Some things will just never happen.
Scottish rugby equivalent: Beating Romania by at least 134 points, Romania's heaviest ever defeat, to - oh dear - England, in 2001.