Pud's Poker Progress / Matthew Pitt / 26 October 2009 / Leave a comment

Over the last few weeks I have been trying to think of another hobby to occupy me that does not involve poker. My day job revolves around searching for poker stories, writing about the poker world and then playing poker. As much as I love this ridiculous game, it can get a bit much sometimes.

Within 100 yards I knew I was in trouble. The terrain was thick of mud, there were no lights anywhere and there were drops of 2-4 feet every few yards! I kid you not a Land Rover would have made hard work of what I was driving through.

One of my loves is motorbikes but with me not having a bike licence my choice of bike related activities is rather limited. Another thing I like is the WRC rally but the only chance I'd really get to see it would be when it comes over here for the RAC rally stage.

Something that has always appealed to me is off-road driving. There are tons of sites all over the UK where you can jump into a 4x4 and take on various terrains and you can even hire your motor when you get there. But this weekend I inadvertently tried to go off roading in my trusty Vauxhall Vectra!

One of my friend of 12 years recently got married in Jamaica and decided to hold a little bash for family and friends when they arrived back in good old Blighty. I accepted the invitation and after spending a really good day with Pud Jr, I came home, got changed and headed out to deepest, darkest Pontefract.

With me not knowing exactly where the party was being held I decided to put my trust into my satellite navigation system, a decision I would rue to regret. After taking me down the aptly named "Hell Lane", a road that was only 1.5 car widths wide and in total darkness, where I almost ran into a hedge on a concealed bend on the crest of a hill ( I kid you not), the annoying female voice had plans for my demise.

Driving down a country lane in battering winds and monsoon-like rain the voice piped up, "take a left turn in half a mile." With my fog lights on I could see about this distance and couldn't work out a turning, especially as there were no street lights anywhere to be seen. Once I reached the point of turning, I kept on going as there was nothing but fields around me. A mistake by the sat nav women obviously.

Quite quickly I was informed that I had missed the turning and needed to make a U-turn at the safest opportunity. Having done so it directed me back towards the "turning" I had "missed" a few minutes earlier. With the stupid machine directing me to the same point twice it must be right, right?

I actually stopped at the side of this dirt track before actually driving onto it as something just felt wrong. But the party was being held at a local rugby union club so maybe the dirt track just led up the the playing fields? Right, let's go then.

Within 100 yards I knew I was in trouble. The terrain was thick of mud, there were no lights anywhere and there were drops of 2-4 feet every few yards! I kid you not a Land Rover would have made hard work of what I was driving through. At one point I wanted to reverse out but after some of the drops in height I had endured I knew I wouldn't get back out, plus I couldn't see bugger all with the tiny reversing light so the only way I could go was onwards, hoping this "path" finished at a farmer's house or something.

After 30 minutes of driving in precarious conditions, bottoming the car out several times and not going faster than 10mph I eventually came to the end of this makeshift road and reached my destination. It turns out the "road" I had been down was part of a farmer's field but counted as a continuation of the road I needed! FML!

To make matters worse, when I got there I knew about four people, couldn't drink with me driving so it was a bit of a mare! It was great to see my mate and his wife again after a five year gap and we'll meet up again soon for sure but Jesus, what an awful trip!

On a positive note, it has made me want to take up off-road driving and I'll be looking into doing something in the next month or so. I'd try doing something in the next week or so but all previous plans have been put on hold as I am moving house on the 27th and any money me and Mrs P thought we had has been sucked up by carpets, van hire and other bits and pieces.

As you've probably guessed I have played little in the way of poker, in fact I've withdrawn my roll until I get my wage through so probably won't play for a day or two. However, our new neighbours look like complete Nesbits so I should have some stories to tell you in the coming days.

As always, thanks for reading and best of luck at the tables!