"NEWS": Devilfish pronounced 'Dead on the Inside'
Emergency medical technicians admitted today that they were two years too late to resuscitate David 'Devilfish' Ulliott, who had apparently succumbed to a long battle with crippling disappointment.
After unsuccessful attempts to revive Ulliott's soul with a promise of a final table finish at the forthcoming WSOPE, Devilfish's was pronounced dead on the inside at the scene.
Paramedic, Kevin Baxter said: "If we could have got him before the Premier League began, we might have had a chance. No one can withstand that kind of emotional trauma."
Ulliott's soul is survived by his own hollow shell, which is expected to sleepwalk through a meaningless existence for the next thirty years.
Benefits and offers
£50 CASINO BONUS
100% deposit bonus up to £50 for all new casino players. Just join and play to claim.

Poker calendar
$200,000 STAX#RATINGS™
Check your rating
Weekly $125 GTD
Every Sunday at 19.05 BST
WSOPE 2008 Qualifier
25th May 2008
WSOP Qualifier
17th May 2008
Battle of the Forums
3rd July 2008
Pokerfecta
Weekly
Annette 15 $20 GTD
Every Friday at 19.30 BST
IMPER1UM $30k GTD
Every Tuesday at 19.30 BST
Milk The Kid $5k PLO
Every Monday and Wednesday night
$11k GTD
Tuesdays and Fridays
$16 GTD
Daily at 20:15 GMT
Other items





