
The Dos and Don'ts of a Longchamp weekend according to Graham Cunningham
Back Dylan Thomas, stay off the Kronenbourg, watch the rugby and most of all don't miss your flight back, says Graham Cunningham
PASSPORT; train or plane ticket; wallet rammed with euros; spare wallet rammed with sterling in case of emergencies; mobile with Betfair number (00448709080121) on speed dial; one suit and three shirts; toilet bag; headache tablets.
Right, you have all you need to survive the next 72 hours. Now just follow these handy hints and Paris is your oyster ahead of Sunday's showdown between Authorized and company in the Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe.
DO: Try to offset the expenses by backing Pascal Bary's speedy French raider Natagora win and place in Friday's Cheveley Park Stakes.
DON'T: Go mad, but Achilles of Troy might be worth a small win lay in the Middle Park.
DO: Find a bar with Sky Sports showing the Super League eliminator between Leeds and Wigan on Friday night.
DON'T: Be shy of backing the Rhinos. Wigan have been on a roll, but Leeds were very impressive when pipped by Saints last week.
DO: Go racing at Longchamp on Saturday for a card which is the perfect appetiser for Arc day itself.
DON'T: Get stuck into the Kronenbourg too early unless you want Sunday to pass by in a haze.
DO: Expect a huge run from Andre Fabre's ultra-progressive Coastal Path in Saturday's Prix Chaudenay.
DON'T: Back him without having a saver on the consistent Irish raider Mores Wells.
DO: Find a telly showing the British racing (Horseracing Abroad's marquee is a good bet if you can blag your way in).
DON'T: Be surprised if Monte Alto and Docofthebay go well at value prices in another brutally competitive renewal of the Cambridgeshire.
DO: Consider dutching the exciting US Ranger and the luckless Jeremy in a tremendous renewal of the Prix de la Foret.
DON'T: Leave it there. Red Clubs and Red Evie both appeal as lay material in the win and the place markets.
DO: Take an interest in England's Rugby Union World Cup quarter final against the Aussies if you must.
DON'T: Expect an English win. Betfair's union guru Tony Calvin feels the Aussies are value to cover double figure handicaps and should be backed accordingly.
DO: Look for big efforts from Anna Pavlova and Pearl Sky in the Prix de Royallieu.
DON'T: Oppose Echo of Light lightly as he bids for a second Prix Daniel Wildenstein win. Holocene also looks good laying material in the same race.
DO: Take time to cast a longing glance towards the stunning Parisian women who preen and posture round the paddock.
DON'T: Be surprised if they look at you like a piece of merde if you have the balls to try and chat them up.
DO: Try to get Sunday off to a flyer with a decent win and place bet on the admirable Dandy Man in the Abbaye.
DON'T: Be surprised if last year's third Moss Vale hits the frame at decent odds again.
DO: Be aware that Peter Chapple-Hyam has gone quiet of late, with just three winners in September and none so far in October.
DON'T: Make the mistake of chasing Authorized if he goes on the drift. He's just too good to be laying at anything bigger than 2.65.
DO: Look to the underrated Dylan Thomas for excellent win and place value against Authorized.
DON'T: Ignore a place lay of his stablemate Soldier of Fortune as he faces his sternest task to date.
DO: Inspect the Pari-Mutuel (the French equivalent of the Tote) for generous odds about horses representing less fashionable trainers and jockeys.
DON'T: Forget to check you get the right amount if you win. French cashiers can seem - how shall we say this? - strangely poor at maths on occasion.
DO: Walk to the track past Roland Garros through the Bois de Boulogne if you have time on your hands on Sunday.
DON'T: Choose the same route back after dark unless you fancy being accosted by some of Paris's most aggressive hookers and transvestites.
So there you have it. Back Natagora, Coastal Path, the Rhinos, the Aussies, US Ranger, Jeremy, Dylan Thomas and Dandy Man. And lay Achilles of Troy, Red Clubs, Red Evie, Holocene and Soldier Of Fortune.
I wish you bon chance and leave you with one final do and one final don't. Do make the most of the finest weekend European racing has to offer. But don't miss your flight or train back. I've done it three times in the last five years and the stewards' inquiry when you slink back just isn't worth the hassle.
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Events calendar
15/05/2008 | Cricket
Eng v NZ 1st Test - Lords
25/05/2008 | Formula One
Monaco - GP
26/05/2008 | Tennis
French Open (Paris)




