General / Jack Houghton / 26 October 2009 / Leave a comment

Jack Houghton reminisces about the days when he pretended to be a greyhound expert in front of the Eurosport cameras. And it is to dog racing that he turns his attentions in week 11 of the betting challenge.

"So when the Betting Challenge charabanc pulls in to Wimbledon for the doggie St Leger on Tuesday, your driver is no amateur. He knows his Mick the Miller from his Ballyregan Bob; his Westmead Hawk from his Joe Dump; his Droopys from his Tony Johnston. He knows this is no dice on legs."

My name is Jack Houghton. You may remember me from such shows as Sunday Night Dogs. You don't? I'm disgusted. Because although now known for the kind of multi-faceted punting dominance that sees the Betting Challenge bank a whisker away from profit, it was dear old doggie racing that dished up my television tipster debut.

Each Sunday, for ten weeks, I would drive down to picturesque Sittingbourne - an in-grown hair, on a boil, on the arse of the near Kent coast - and bring punting news to dramatically varying numbers of viewers on Eurosport: from tens of thousands on the one occasion there was no competing European football; to six most other times. And I don't mean six thousand.

Nonetheless I dutifully sat next to Trevor Harris and Tony Johnston, relaying the exchange ups and downs as they related to the dogs (although I usually, due to familiarity, called them horses, and once, quite by accident, pigs). I would also field viewer emails although, after an editorial decision in week one to have us panellists sat atop bar stools, the only emails I ever received were about the cannon seemingly housed in the aptly-named Johnston's trousers.

Labelled Exchange-Guru, I was the happening, high-spirited, and high-tech foil to some old Brylcreemed dude in the betting ring; there to report the old-fashioned flow of dough in the pit below. Unfortunately, for me, in week one, producers hadn't thought an internet connection a priority, leaving High-Tech Boy in cyberspace limbo. So my only source of information was an overweight dogsbody (he didn't deserve his title of "Runner") ambling back-and-forth to the track manager's office, handing me illegible and out-of-date price information. Still, we stumbled through that first week, and with technology secured, a little polish crept into my performances. Right before the show was axed.

So when the Betting Challenge charabanc pulls in to Wimbledon for the doggie St Leger on Tuesday, your driver is no amateur. He knows his Mick the Miller from his Ballyregan Bob; his Westmead Hawk from his Joe Dump; his Droopys from his Tony Johnston. He knows this is no dice on legs. Brought up with regular trips to Yarmouth Dogs he has, at intervals since, sought spiritual feast at the great cathedrals of greyhound sporting chance: Wimbledon, Sittingbourne, Walthamstow and Reading. Yes, Reading. Let's get right to it.

Given his dominant semi-final win - despite a tardy start - Droopys Zach seems to be the most likely winner in the eyes of more regular greyhound pundits. But to my highly-trained and more capable mind, it is kennel-mate Kinda Easy who makes more appeal. Caught wide and bumped early on in his semi-final, he could only manage second; but still recorded a faster time than any dog on the other side of the draw. With more luck in running, and the absence of Crown Rover in the final, Kinda Easy looks value at [3.65]. I'm having £10 on.

Frazier's Clone, the winner of Kinda Easy's semi-final, is another dog to support come Tuesday night. He has a habit of pinging the traps and, from a favourable house in five, should be able to draw clear of likely trouble at the first bend. I'm having £10 on at a massive looking [11.5].

That should be enough to launch the Betting Challenge back into profit after a stellar performance laid the foundations last week. In fact, if it wasn't for that frickin' Alesha Dixon getting all hot-under-the-collar and dishing out an undeserved ten for Ricky's good, but not perfect, Viennese Waltz, all our bets would have collected.

I'm not bitter though. And what does it matter? Faced with the predictable certainties of dogs, dressed up in coats, running around a sandpit, chasing Brucie's old toupee, a win on Tuesday night is all-but guaranteed. We can't go wrong.

This week's bets:

£10 BACK of Kinda Easy at [3.65] in Greyhound St Leger.
£10 BACK of Fraziers Clone at [11.5] in Greyhound St Leger.

Tags: greyhound bets, greyhound betting, Kinda Easy, Mick the Miller, St Leger betting