More Lampard, more Drogba, more squalor, less love

Premier League / Dan Fitch / 24 July 2008 / Leave a Comment

Whilst Frank Lamapard dithers and demands crazy money, Didier Drogba has been busy removing his number from the New Hampshire phone book.

I'd like to think that I'd hate Chelsea even if I wasn't a Spurs fan. Unless you're a dyed in the wool blue, then it's hard not to find them repugnant (much like the Tory party). So it was with a broad grin that I considered Chelsea's future, just seconds after John Terry had fallen on his arse and handed Manchester United the Champions League.

The reason for my delight wasn't because I thought that they would implode. I knew that Chelsea would go out and hire a shiny new manager and that this new boss would be given plenty of funds to improve the squad.

No, it was because I thought that I'd never have to see either Frank Lampard or Didier Drogba in a Chelsea shirt again. These two are the players that I dislike most at Chelsea and that's saying something when you consider that their squad includes Ashley Cole. With Mourinho taking over at Inter, it seemed likely that at least one of his former stalwarts would follow him to the San Siro.

It's now nearly August and I'm becoming increasingly twitchy. It now seems certain that when I travel to Stamford Bridge to watch Tottenham in action on August 30th, I will have to once more witness Drogba rolling around on the floor and Lampard's tiresome habit of standing right in front of the Spurs fans and kissing the Chelsea badge (having just scored against us).

If the rumours are to be believed, it looks as if Chelsea have buckled and offered Lampard the £140,000 a week, five year deal that the player has asked for. For a thirty year old, whose game is based on his box to box running, this is a ridiculous offer, even in these most ridiculous of times.

It also puts Lampard in something of a predicament. Had Chelsea failed to improve upon their original four year offer, then Lampard could have join Inter Milan with his reputation squeaky clean. He could present his departure as one forced upon him, rather than being of his own volition.

The trouble is that I think that Lampard rather fancied a move to Milan. If this is the case, then I'm not sure why he couldn't have just been upfront about it. Surely most Chelsea fans would have understood if Lampard decided to broaden his experience with a move abroad, after many years loyal service at Stamford Bridge.

Now Frank has to decide whether to take the crazy money that Abramovic is offering, or see out his contract and hope that Inter are still waiting next summer. Lampard is [1.15] to stay at Chelsea and [4.8] to leave. Whatever Lampard's decision, it does seem a certainty that he'll spend this season at Chelsea. Despite what Peter Kenyon may say, Chelsea don't operate as a business and can easily afford to write off Lampard's transfer value.

Whilst there has been constant speculation regarding Lampard's future, Drogba has been keeping a lower profile than J.D.Salinger. It could be argued that the tempestuous Ivorian was responsible for Chelsea's Champions League final defeat, considering that he would have taken a penalty had he not been sent off. Such ill blood and the fact that he clearly wants to leave Chelsea, made a move seem inevitable this summer.

But then when you look at the facts, perhaps it's no surprise that Drogba's been left on the shelf. Like Lampard, he's also turned thirty. In addition, he'd cost an absolute fortune and sods off for six weeks every two years, when the African Nations Cup rolls around.

There's not many sides that would have the clout to attract Drogba and none of them seem to be busting a gut to bring a striker in. This will suit Chelsea, as even with their millions they'd struggle to bring in a forward that would serve them better than Drogba. Chelsea are the narrow favourites to win the Premier League at [2.88], with Drogba [12.5] to be the league's top scorer.

It looks as if I'm going to have to put up with the presence of my bete noirs for at least another season each. Still, what's a pantomime without a villain? I'd better get practising my booing.