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Andorra v England: Tax-free goal-fest or taxing outing for England?

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"Mystical" Mike Norman consults his crystal ball to see how England will cope against "minnows" Andorra. If the performance against the Czech Republic is anything to go by, it will be no walk in the park...

The World Cup dream starts here for England, yet by this time next week that dream could be in tatters if our current crop of misfits doesn't take at least four points from their next two games - and going on their recent dreadful performance against the Czech Republic, at least four points is certainly not a given.

Going into that latest game I was full of optimism. We had a strong looking squad of fresh players, all seemingly desperate to impress Fabio Capello. But what followed was car crash television - it was the biggest bubble I've seen burst in a long long time. The performance was abysmal (how we got out of it with a 2-2 draw I will never know) with almost every player once again underperforming.

And to make matters worse, Capello had the deluded sense to come out and say there were lots of positives to take from the game. It was insulting, and the Italian needs to quickly realise that he will never be able to pull the wool over the eyes of the England fans. Terry Venables and Harry Redknapp's damning criticism of England's performance was fantastic, and worryingly accurate.

England are now ranked 15th in the FIFA World Rankings, just one place above the old enemy Scotland. To put the Three Lions' current plight into perspective, if Scotland record a better series of results than England over the next few games they will be officially ranked above them, dispelling the belief that the only time Scotland will ever be above England is on a map.

Before you reach for the drinks cabinet, I can offer a glimmer of hope however. That hope comes in the shape of Andorra - a team ranked so far below England that if this were a game between two club teams it would be like Manchester United taking on a team from the Melton Mowbray Pork Pie League... division three!

England are just [1.03] to win the game - Andorra are [100.0] and the draw is available at [36.0]. In the 'Half Time/Full Time' market, 'England/England' is currently priced at [1.17].

Andorra's national stadium has a capacity of just 1,800 - nowhere near big enough for Beckham's entourage - so the game has been switched to the 56,000 capacity Olympic Stadium in Barcelona. Andorra might have lost their home advantage, but the last time the two sides met here was in March 2007 when they held England to 0-0 at half time, the rain poured, and Steve McClaren was booed down the tunnel - what a glimpse into the future that was. England would eventually run out 3-0 winners thanks to goals from Steven Gerrard (two) and David Nugent (remember him).

The squad of players this time around should be more than capable of putting Andorra to the sword early on, but if I had a pound for every time I expected a convincing England victory I would be rivaling the Abu Dhabi United Group's bank balance by now.

Still, despite Michael Owen being surprisingly left out of the squad, I expect England to score at least four here with a 4-0 ([6.2]) or 5-0 ([8.2]) victory being my preferred choices in the 'Correct Score 2' market. In the normal 'Correct Score' market, 'Any Unquoted' (any team to score at least four goals) is available at just [1.84] but you should be able to get a better price than that should you leave up a request.

I was delighted to see Jimmy Bullard in the squad though unfortunately for him (and England) Frank Lampard is expected to be fit and should start alongside Gareth Barry in the midfield. I hope I'm wrong because I'm a big a fan of Bullard. He is a player who wears his heart on his sleeve and will give everything to England's cause, unlike other members of the squad. Elsewhere the team should be similar to previous, with Jermaine Defoe and Wayne Rooney in attack and David Beckham retaining his place on the right - despite him now seemingly not even able to cross a ball with any accuracy.

With an avalanche of goals (somewhat stupidly) expected, Betfair have introduced some special 'Over/Under' markets, with 'Over 5.5 Goals' being available to back at [3.2] and 'Over 6.5 Goals' at [5.0]. A 'Hat-trick Scored' is another possibility at [5.1], and so too is a 'Sending Off' ([4.9]) - Andorra have one of the worst disciplinary records in international football.

England should secure a straightforward victory before facing a far more difficult task in the shape of Croatia. Remember that stat I told you before the last game about England not winning any of their last eight games against teams ranked higher than them? Well make that nine now. For the record, Croatia are ranked 5th in the world - you just know Scotland fans are loving this.